Is anyone out there? Hello.....?
If anybody is fooling around on blogger this weekend I ask that you take a moment and visit Ashley Chairiet's sight.
I think there should be someway to blatantly mark a man so all women will be aware of the size of his...*ahem* 'business' before they decide to sleep with him. Perhaps some sort of barcode is in order. I'm not trying to degrade men...as a woman, I'm simply trying to find a way that will: A.) keep us from wasting our time. And B.) Save us any physical pain or disappointment. It's for the greater good...really.
Unless there is another question you'd like answered....here ya go.
"My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected." -Anonymous
They say that eyes are the window to the soul...I've often wondered what great secrets mine are sharing.
What do your eyes say about you?
Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have been lusting after the new pharmacy technician at Kroger...
I have lived in my current apartment for 7 months and last night I realized something that I had never before noticed. It was dark and as I was getting into my car I looked up at my bedroom window which faces the parking lot and I casually noted that I had left the light on. As I shut the car door...I realized with a gasp, that even with the blinds closed...you could see EVERYTHING through my bedroom window. My headboard, an armoir....and with a shudder I realized that everyone must also be able to see me as well. My mind immediately began to race, counting the number of times I had changed clothes in front of that very window. Holy crap! Since the blinds were closed I had never given it a second thought. It's a good thing I live on the 3rd floor instead of the 1st or 2nd. Maybe not too many people have noticed. Regardless, I think I'll be shopping for curtains soon and changing in the bathroom until then.
I have had the fortune or misfortune (however you look at it) to grow up with three brothers. They are all younger than me (though they all tower over me now) but age never stopped them from harrassing the hell out of me.
I had such a terrible nightmare last night. Seriously. It was one of those that you think are completely real and you find yourself literally begging for it to all be a dream.
Guys, don't worry. I know that this is one post you probably cannot relate to...or maybe you can...hmmmm.
Anyone who lives in the deep south understands that we all have some secrets that we'd like to hide in a deep, dark closet and never bring out. These secrets are... our redneck hick trailor trash relatives (every family has a few). Yes, the ones that sit in their front yards, shirts off, big, hairy bellies sticking out, drinking beer and running a hand through their mullets while they have "Sweet Home Alabama" blaring from their pick up trucks and a rebel flag blowing in the breeze. You may walk by them while they're chugging Budweiser but once they spot you, they'll give you a big toothless grin and bellow, "Get R Done!!!" Then they'll spit out some of their chewin tobacco and resume playing the air guitar. If you're extra nice they might even take you in and show you their belt buckle collection.
You are Changing Leaves
Okay what is it with parking space stalkers? You know the kind I'm talking about. The ones that coast behind you when you walk down a parking aisle at the store so they can see if you have an ideal space for them to steal. For the record, if I realize someone is doing that to me, I purposefully walk past my car or cut across to the next lane. Go stalk someone else because you will NOT get my space.
When a woman says "no" to a man...what is it that he doesn't seem to understand? The little runt that followed me around ALL night Saturday was one of these men. He kept asking me to dance...I kept telling him no. He'd persist and try to pull me out of my chair. I planted my feel firmly on the ground and again said no. He starts buying me beers in hopes that I will get drunk and change my mind. I told him flat out, "Stop buying me beers...there is no way I'm going to go out there and dance!" Still he persisted. I couldn't get away from him...he was like a pesky fly. Everywhere I went, he followed, I just wanted to squash him.
I was speaking to my friend Allen about finding a 'nice guy' and since he claims to be one....he decided to write an essay for women such as myself on how to find one. Now, I must tell you that I read his essay and advised him that I had a feeling it was going to be slightly controversial because there are many different types of 'nice guys' and not all of them share his particular moral and ethical values or his other beliefs. Hell I don't share his beliefs either (so don't feel bad if you disagree with him) , this type of nice guy isn't what I'm looking for but I'm sure he's perfect for someone else...Allen understands that these are his opinions alone and wanted to share them. He would really like some feed back so if you have a free moment, please click HERE and peruse his work.
Oh geez. Where to start? I guess I'll just do a brief summary for now and go into more detail later...I hate when people always write really long posts so I'm conscience about keeping mine at a reasonable length. I don't want you people to skip me because I'm being wordy.