Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Past or Present?
There were a few feisty comments under my last post (take it easy guys) that sparked an interesting debate.
I think we are all in agreement that each of us has a past. That's a given. And in all honesty, there are parts of my past that I wish I could erase from this story of my life and replace with some fabulously romantic, fulfilling tales of love and pure happiness.
Unfortunately for me...I used permanent marker the first go 'round.
So now, here I am...stuck with these ugly, rumpled pages because I know that my only other option is to burn them and let's face it...without those first few chapters, the rest of the story just wouldn't make sense. My past is what shaped me into who I am now.
There are things in my past relationships that I'm not proud of...decisions that I made that were less than courageous. But what's done is done and all I can do now is acknowledge my mistakes, carry them close to my heart and let them continue to shape me into a better person.
The romantic in me believes that in the dating realm, everyone's past deserves a future and I can't bring myself to turn my back on someone who carries their past mistakes with them as a reminder like I do. All I can do is make room on the shelf for their rumpled chapters...take their hand...and start a new page.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Jack Jack Take Back
As we get older, I think we all learn at some point or another that there are certain questions that you should never ask your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Inevitably, they are questions that deep down, no matter how much you think you want to know the answer...you really don't. Yet some people, thinking they are above the pain...ask anyway.
"If you had to choose one of my friends to go out with, who would you pick?"
"How many people have you slept with?"
"Was your last girlfriend prettier than me?"
"Was your last girlfriend better in bed than me?"
"Do you love me more than so and so?"
Fortunately...I believe that the past is the past. We all have one. (Although I'd like to wrap a lead weight around mine and throw it in the bottom of a lake...but whatever.) And truth be told, I have zero interest in those questions when I know the kind of future we have ahead of us.
Now if I could just teach this to the younger girls...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I know I've been quiet lately.
It's been a bad week.
I lost one of my soldiers Monday. He was only 21.
Matthew was a soldier in Eric's Company and in this week alone, they have lost a total of 5 soldiers. I cannot tell you how terrified I am of something happening to Eric. I was never much of a religous person before...but now...I pray every single day. "Just bring them home safe...please."
The only thing that gets me through is hearing him say, "I know I'm going to be ok...because I have you to come home to."
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Does it Still Happen?
Yesterday I met an elderly couple that confided in me that they'd met right after he'd gotten back from the war and that they were so taken with each other that they married the day after they met.
For those of you who are slow with the math...they had known each other ONE day!!!
I asked the woman...'what was it about him that had you so taken?' She tilted her head thoughtfully and said, 'honey...he was just SO handsome.' He of course winked at me and flashed a wicked grin.
But numerous decades and many great grandchildren later...they are still as in love as the day they met and I couldn't help but wishing that that kind of love still existed like it did then.
Friday, January 12, 2007
A Marine's Blog
In my participation with Soldiers' Angels, I was also fortunate enough to befriend another soldier....a Marine (coincidentally also named Eric).
He's a super sweet guy...and he's recently married...so ladies and gents...keep the pervy emails to yourself...or you can send them to me. I'm game. ;o) LOL
But he's also a great writer and he's just started his own blog which I have linked up to in my sidebar but if you get time, please drop by his sight and say hello. But just so you know...I've already beat you...I was comment #1!!! Woohoo!!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
For Miss Ash and Courtney
In the weeks leading up to Christmas I mailed out approximately 300 holiday cards to soldiers overseas. I did so without hope or agenda.
I only wished to bring a little bit of home to the brave souls that were so very far away from it and while I never expected to receive anything in return...I wound getting the very best gift of all.
Unbeknownst to me, one of my cards had fallen into the hands of Eric and by a simple twist of fate...after reading my silly card with it's smudged, crooked writing...he decided to write me a thank you email. What followed was a flurry of emails, IM's and phone calls...all through which we have forged a relationship that we joke, can only be described as something from a movie.
I am a firm believer in fate and everything happening for a reason. And I believe that someone finally got tired of my bellyaching and sent me a man to shut me up. LOL.
I don't know what is was that compelled him to pick up my card that day...but whatever it was, I'm grateful.
There Courtney and Miss Ash...is that spoken plainly enough for you? :0) By they way, Eric does actually read my blog...lord help me. If I'd known I was going to have the hots for him, I would never have given him the address...otherwise I could write all the juicy stuff in here. :o) Oh well...we'll just have to come up with code words. :o)
Friday, January 05, 2007
It's amazing how you can waste days, months...even years of your life, living in the past. Stuck on a page...reading the same words over and over...seemingly powerless to take that step...to turn the page to see what happens next.
But at some point you have to take a deep breath and just do it. Quick...like pulling off a band-aid. And once that intial shock wears off....you realize that there are pages and pages of this book left to read and you were only on the first chapter.
My band-aid is off...and it didn't even hurt. Because I had someone with me to hold my hand and say, "It's gonna be ok." Someone who has made me realize that there was never anything in that first chapter worth missing out on. It was just setting the stage for an even better ending.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Sometimes things happen that you completely weren't expecting, blindsiding you and leaving you to wonder if the god's are crazy or if you've finally found your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
There has been a little candle burning in the window of my heart for a long time now, watching...waiting...hoping. Wondering if someone special was going to see it...and follow it home.
It may have taken a map and a compass to navigate the years and the miles...but he's finally found his way.
All thanks to one little Christmas card...
P.S. For the record, it is NOT the ex.