Thursday, June 28, 2007

At a Loss For Words

Ok, so we all know how boys and, their 'parts' come in different sizes right?

Well, completely unbeknownest to do women!!

Apparently one hooha is not the same as the next!!

I am aghast people.

So now I've got all these one size better than the other? Do men have a preference? Does it play a factor in their sexual satisfaction? Worst of all, how do you know if you have a big hooha or not?

Now I'm all paranoid...worried that I could be walking around with an abnormal hooha. :o(

Sunday, June 24, 2007


I think that by now, most of you know that I've actually grown to enjoy the freedom of being single, (at least when I'm not recovering from having my heart smashed to bits). You can flirt with whomever you like, you can kiss as many boys as you can do whatever your little heart desires.

BUT, I'd be lying if I didn't say that there are some things that I miss about being in a relationship. You know...for me, it's those little meaningful things that my heart yearns for.

Warm hands brushing the hair out of my face.

Secret smiles shared across a crowded room.

Having his hand wrapped around mine.

Feeling his warm breath on the back of my neck as he sleeps.

Resting my head against his chest as he nonchalantly strokes the small of my back with his fingers. (You know who you are.)

While I whittle away the hours enjoying my freedom...a little piece of my heart holds out for those moments, silently hoping that the wait won't be too long.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

All I Need Is...

A really great kiss.

I can't recall the last time I actually kissed someone....

Well OK, yeah...there was that one guy in Dublin. Oh...and that OTHER guy in Dublin.

And I did kiss Px during my visit to the UK, which was actually quite nice and very sweet. But that was nearly a year ago!

I want that anticipation of leaning in...lips inches apart...the sound of a man's racing heart echoing in my own chest.

I want the feeling of his fingers carressing my skin as his lips brush against mine.

I want my toes to tingle and my insides to catch fire.

I want someone to kiss me...and really mean it.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Mona Lisa

Perhaps some of you will remember the plea I made around this time last year:

Dear Univeral Powers That Be,

Before you drop anymore eligible men on my doorstep, it would be wise for you to update your screening process and refrain from sending me anymore...: married men, gay men, men old enough to be my father, assholes or losers.

The preferred qualities a man must posses (aside from actually being straight and single) are: intelligence, kindness, thoughtfulness, humor and a fondness for children (though not in a perverse way.)

A year later and not much has changed...someone up there must have wax in their ears.

Last night I was in a bar surrounded by men and which one walks/staggers up to me? The icky, old drunk guy who kept saying, "Listen, listen...I'm not the town drunk I swear."

*Pause for a belch*

"I just think you're SO beautiful. You're stunning, you have no idea how beautiful you are. You know what? You're my Mona Lisa."

He then turned to everyone within ear shot and slurred, "This is my Mona Lisa!!!"

It took me prying his fingers off of my waist and frantic pleas for help to my guy friends, to get me wrenched free and on the road to freedom. *Sigh* Why me?

On a brighter note, the nice boy in question (who shall herein be referred to as Captain McSteamy) will be visiting at the end of July. Maybe The Powers got at least one thing right.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

What's That Ringing?

Maybe it's so high pitched only a Spinster can hear it.


THAT my friends is my biological clock. And do you know why it's ringing? Because in one very short month...yours truly is turning 30.


Yeah, I know.

I've been hearing the ringing in my ears for quite some time but I've had a habit of reaching over and smacking the shit out of the damn thing until I hear it cough...rattle and then fall silent.

I only hope that I haven't done any permanant damage. I would like it to actually work when I meet Mr. Right.

But hopefully it won't take more than a few frantic shakes and muttered curse words to spring back to life.

Not that it looks like I'll need it anytime soon but who knows...I've met some nice boys. One in particular who is coming to visit soon...*wink-wink*

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