A Change

As most of you have noticed, I have recently opted to say 'so long' to the pen name I've been writing under for so long.

I'm not sure why, but overnight it struck me that my blog friends know so much about me...in some instances you know more about me than my everyday friends. But at the same time I felt like the person that you know is a stranger. Who is this Linny person? It suddenly felt odd to type that name knowing I was referring to myself.

I don't know why.

What I DO know is that every word I've ever written on this blog has been truthful and from the heart. It's just that now you know that, that heart belongs to a real live girl named Lindsey.

p.s. Fu...stop freaking out! lol. You can still call me Linny if you want to. :o)

Affliction

Believe it or not...at no point during the festivities this weekend did a "So Lindsey..." pop out of anyone's mouth. (I attribute this to my willingness to kill anyone who even thought about saying something.) As a result, everyone managed to survive the weekend relatively unscathed.

So now, having sidestepped that land mine, it's time to address my current affliction which my dear Ms. Pessimism has lovingly dubbed, "Lindsey, goddess of sex...just on the wrong continent."

Affliction definition: Goddess like woman who suffers no shortage of men to kiss, snuggle or otherwise enjoy while visiting other continents...yet finds no suitors in the vast barrenness wasteland she calls home.

Let's face it, when I do meet men I have a habit of attracting the ones that are:

U-N-A-V-A-I-L-A-B-L-E.

Be it physically, emotionally or geographically. If they suffer from it, I've probably dated them.

The next step...finding a cure.

Look At This Face

It's finally happening. My little brother is getting married this weekend. *Sigh*

Anyone want to take bets on how many times I'll hear, "So Linny...where's your boyfriend?" or "So Linny...when are you going to settle down? Everyone else is beatin you to it!"

I need to practice my snappy comeback lines. I'll do that on the drive up since we'll have 2 hours to kill. Kate's riding with me so she can throw hypothetical scenarios at me so I can test my verbal reflexes.

Kate's in the wedding (her best friend is the bride) so I'll have the munchkin all weekend. Here's to some serious bonding time and hoping he walks down the aisle to me like he's supposed to. (He's the ring bearer.)

I Forgot About the Pictures

I can't believe I haven't done this before now. But forgive me. There was a whole disaster with the photos.

Mainly because...the photo lab LOST THEM.

I took some with my digital camera so those are these touristy ones...the evening ones I took with my disposable...most of those are gone...dammit.

Amendments

On the heels of writing a post about being single and fabulous, I feel duty bound to make an amendment here.

While I love the freedom and spontaneity of the single life (as do many of you), deep down I think there will be a point in many of our lives when we will still want someone to share the (fabulousness that is 'us') with.

Some are open about this desire...while others treat it like a dirty magazine they don't want their parents to find. They hide it in the back of the closet, tucking it under boxes and behind old clothes, all the while hoping that it never finds the light of day.

I guess they were absent that day in school when we were all taught that life isn't always fair, because just when you think you've successfully beaten back the desire for a relationship...there it is, tugging at your sleeve like an impatient child.

While I have no problem whittling away the hours flirting and enjoying the perks of being single...the reality is...I just don't want to be single forever.

My heart longs for someone whose lips know just where to caress the slope of my neck...whose hand fits the curve of my waist...whose heart beats in time with mine.

Lessons

If there is one thing I took from my travel overseas, it was the reminder that being single can be fabulous.

(Leave it to me to have to travel thousands of miles across the ocean in order to remember that.)

I had forgotten how nice it was to be carefree.

To meet new and interesting people and to forget about everything that had been tying you down and just let loose.

I had forgotten how nice it was to flirt and be flirted with.

To kiss a boy...or two...or three.

To know that someone thinks your sexy.

To know that someone thought so much of you that they had to build up the courage to come talk to you.

Wingman

When venturing out for a night on the town and looking to meet new people, it is essential that you choose your traveling companions carefully.

First and foremost it is generally best to bring at least 2 friends along. That way, if you meet someone you like, your friends will always have someone else to talk to while you're busy gettin your groove on.

Also an essential requirement (especially important if you're only bringing one friend) is that you choose a friend who is outgoing and social. They must posses the ability to approach and carry on a conversation with a total stranger. If you are chatting up someone, they may be called upon to entertain the fellow's friend or they may have to find a way to entertain themselves for awhile.

It's a good idea to have a general understanding beforehand that one friend will not get jealous or offended if the other finds a nice set of lips to cozy up to. However, by the same token...if one friend is hooking up and the other is acting as wingman...it is MANDATORY that there be ground rules placed regarding how much a wingman must endure for the sake of a friend's fling.

Far too often the wingman is left entertaining the hottie's less than hot (and generally dull, creepy or obnoxious) friend. There must be a signal system in place that will allow the wingman to notify you that she has met her bullshit limit and is ready to flee. You in turn must be willing to come up for air, exchange phone numbers with said fling and whisk your wingman to freedom.

Twilight Zone

Imagine a noisy, crowded Irish Pub. I'm flirting with a cute boy...enjoying the atmosphere. Then music starts to play over the speakers and I suddenly find myself frozen in place..."Wait a minute. Are they playing....????"

"Blame it on my roots, I showed up in boots, and ruined your black tie affair..."

A glance around the room revealed men, eyes half closed...crooning into their beers. "And I saw the surprise, and the fear in his eyes, when I took his glass of champagne, and I toasted you, said honey we may be through, but you'll-never-hear-me-complaaaiiiiinnnnn..."

The bar suddenly erupted into cheers and fists pounding on the bar. "Cause I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away, And I'll be okay..."

I stared wide eyed as my Irishman grabbed my waist and drawled, "I'm not big on social graces, think I'll skip on down to the Oasis, oh I've got friends in low places."

The initial shock I suffered at the sight of a bar full of Irishmen singing Garth Brooks, eventually wore off and I joined in as they chanted, "You gotta now when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."

A few Red Bulls and Vodka later I found myself forming a chorus line with another American and some locals...all of us singing at the top of our lungs. "Start spreading the news." Kick turn kick.

"I'm leavin' today." Kick turn kick. "I want to be a part of it. New York New York." Knock back a drink. "...I'll make a brand new start of it, New York New York." Pull Irishman's hand off my ass.

"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere. It's up to you" kick
"New" kick
"York" kick
"New" kick,
"Yooooorrrrrrrkkkkkk." kick turn kick.

More of the Same

Men are the same...no matter where you go.

And no matter what country you visit...you will always be subjected to crude and obnoxious pick up lines. For instance:

1. I'm not staring at your breasts...I'm looking at your necklace.

2. Will you sit on my face? I promise I'll give you Christmas and Birthday all rolled into one.

3. You have a little Irish in you eh'? Would you like some more?

4. (Conversation stops abruptly and you look over and realize he's staring at your breasts with eyes that are slightly glazed over.) With a shake of his head he says, "I'm sorry, I just can't stop staring at your tits. They're amazing."

5. Come home with me. I'll give you money, I'll give you jewels. Whatever you wish. I just want to show you the kindness of the people of Dubai. If I hit you or mistreat you...you can leave. (What the fuck?!)

6. How much did he just offer you? I'll double it!

7. Come back to my apartment. It'll be innocent...I swear. I've got some nice cider up there.

8. Oh come on...please. Just come over and stay the night. Nothing will happen I swear! I've got an extra bedroom...it has a lock. I won't try to rape you I promise.

*Sigh*

And ya'll wonder why I'm still single.

Where Do I Start?

That is the question of the day.

Let's start with the most interesting bits shall we? The men.

Now, in case you weren't aware, there is only one rule a single person has to follow when going on vacation and that is...to live it up and have as much fun as possible. In the single world, vacation is where meeting new and interesting people is a requirement and kissing a few boys is a must. Kind of like meeting your daily dairy allowance...it does a body good.

I can't be certain of what they're teaching the boys over there in school, but for the record, I'm convinced that there must be some sort of lip locking course offered. I haven't been kissed like that in a long time.

First you have the passion and intensity of the rogue Irishman whose kiss seems to bloody well light you on fire from the inside out. Then you have the soft, tenderness of the Englishman whose kiss makes you catch your breath as the feeling of his hands and lips linger and permeate every part of your being.

Yes, it was a good trip indeed.

I'm Back

I'm back but I'm completely and totally jet lagged so I'm making this short and sweet.

Had a great time...lots of funny stories to tell. Will try to get started tomorrow but no promises.

Did get to meet up with Px (Pete) and had a most wonderful time. Visited a few local pubs...braved dark alley ways...got to see his piercings and tattoos. By the way girls....our little Pete is quite handsome. Plus he's tall and skinny...and you know what they say about men who are tall and skinny...... :o)