Bad Bad Ring
After the elevator incident, I should have called it a day. But no...I decided to make a pit stop at the mall, during which I paused to try on a few rings. Turns out...that was a mistake. I started the slide the ring off when, to my dismay, it refused to budge causing an immediate flash of panic.
I took a deep breath. Okay Linny...whatever you do, don't panic. You can do this. Just wiggle it around a bit...it'll give.
I twisted, pushed, pulled and yanked to no avail. It wasn't budging. I could feel my cheeks growing hotter as I scanned the store. God this is so embarrassing!
Of course, my first instinct was to play the whole thing off...so I held my hand out pretending to admire the ring when really, my mind was racing a mile a minute. What in the hell could I do to manipulate this thing off my finger?
Butter! I remember a show once where they used butter to slide a ring off someone's finger! Wait...shit...I don't have any butter. Why the hell am I contemplating butter in a department store?!
In an effort to be inconspicuous as I worked, I shuffled over to the clothing section across the way...all the while yanking and pulling at my finger, desperately trying to suppress the anxiety that threatened to boil over. What the hell am I going to do? I can't just walk out with it on my finger!
Growling a string of swear words, I came to the realization that I was going to have to buy the ring that I had grown to hate.
*Sigh*
I pictured having to go to the cashier, my face on fire as I asked her to scan my finger. Oh god, tell me this isn't happening!!!
Just as I reached the verge of a nervous breakdown, I implented my last thing I could think of...spit.
Bingo!
posted by Lindsey @ 6/13/2006 06:58:00 PM
30 Comments:
and the sequel to this would be called The Ring 2?
That happened to me once, at a store where they were moving locations so everything in the entire store was 50% off....and since it was 3/4 empty, I was the only one in there. The girl pulls out a tray of rings, and I pick this one up, thats gorgeous, and I slide it on my ring finger *as that is the ONLY finger I can find rings for*, and when it wouldnt budge, she was standing there, staring at me....her manager came in and distracted her for a minute, while I tugged relentlessly on the ring....it finally gave, I put it on the counter and walked out of the store.
That's PRICELESS. that's the worst feeling ever- it's a moment of sheer panic. and then, of course, your finger is all irritated, red and swollen for an hour afterwards. i need to teach myself the "don't touch" rule when shopping!!!
goodness girl. You and I really would be friends. Anytime one of my girlfriends does something like that, which happens more than ya think, we just chuckle and say, "fuckin (insert name) Linny)" and laugh - and i'm laughin.
LOL!
Keshi.
Oh baby...
Ring removing liquid...
we could make millions!
hahahahahahahaha
see me...licking your finger would've been the first thing i'd thought of doing!!
getting nervous about things like that though cause you to swell up slightly too
Well duh! Spit was my first thought as soon as you said it was stuck! Were these engagement rings Linny? Perhaps a little dreaming about the future for you?
Great story! Dishwashing liquid is also good for getting rings off (or so I've heard).
OH NO! Why is it that fingers always seem to swell at the most inopportune times???
At least you didn't have to buy it though :)
lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Butter.
That's priceless girl.
haha. Is that a sign the ring has affinity to you?
;)
There was an advert where this women tried on a ring with a huge rock on it and couldn't pull it off. Her boyfriend paid for the ring. As the boyfriend turned to leave the store, she slipped the ring off her finger into the waiting box held by the salesgirl.
Priceless!
Spit is the duck tape of the lubication world, at least as far as fingers and such go. :-)
LOL - oh gawd. think about the person who tries that ring on next. LOL "Free Linny spit germs with purchase of ring."
That so has happened to me! One time I tried on a prom dress and the zipper got stuck and then *I* got stuck with it halfway off. I was FREAKING OUT. Funny part of the story is that my phone rang...and I answered it with a dress half off.
OMG I've had that happen before. That's the WORST feeling. I once did that at a jewelry store and needed 2 people to pull it off my hand.
*red face*
~Glitter/Aleka
Sorry about that, the darn comment wouldn't work. Now this is better...
ouch - stop, my cheeks hurt! :-D
I could so see this happening to me and I loved your solution-inspired and it made me laugh out loud!
Oh that is awful. There are a lot of solutions however none that are really in a department store, like the butter or detergent LOL. Can you imgaine they had to scan your finger ..... the cashier would be telling that story for years!!
LOL! I'm glad you were able to keep your dignity in tack, and get it off! Sounds like you also had a bad day. I think you could use a vacation as well!
LINNY!
Hello Linny,
Allow me to introduce myself, I am SherBears, a lurker to your blog. You can visit my blog at: www.joeandsherry.blogspot.com
I enjoy reading (and laughing my ass off) you witty commentaries.
-SP
lol...god you make me lol a lot....i have had that happen many of times..i have fat fingers like mom too...
that was the ring i had psychicly picked out for you to wear.
i think u need to go back to the store
just look for the linny tainted ring
LOL Hope you went home after that and we don't read tomorrow about you loosing your car in the parking lot.
this is a good reminder to not try on rings. Not because I might also get one stuck but becasue someone may have spit on it before me!
Good One!
Something similar happened to me before and I went to the ladies room and used a whole bunch of soap...thank god it came off!
I hate it when those kinds of things happen. I use lotions sometimes...
Ah, you're funny, sweetie.
I loved this.. especially after the elevator story.
Keep it up, please?
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