First Kiss

For most people, I think that first kiss is something that's looked forward to with great enthusiasm and anticipation.

I am not most people.

For me, the impending act was more terrifying than the prospect of being caged alongside a lion who'd missed his lunch.

Maybe it wouldn't have been as scary if I had done more in the way of preparation, like practicing on my hand the way I'd seen other girls do. As it was, my only lessons came from watching daily Soap Operas. I'd scrutinize every kissing scene, carefully constructing a mental check list. Okay, you tilt your head like this and close your eyes when he does this...wait, is he supposed to swallow your face like that?

When the big moment came, I was so nervous that I was literally sick to my stomach. We were sitting in the movie theater and I had just applied a coat of cherry flavored chapstick when Brian leaned over and asked if he could borrow a bit of chapstick for himself. Being the innocent girl that I was, I proferred the tube which he promptly ignored as he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

My first thought was "It's happening, it's really happening!!!"

My second thoughts were, "Oh god, what am I supposed to do?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??!!!!"

All that careful note taking had flown right out the window and I was left in a panicked state. "Do I try to match up my bottom lip with his top lip? Oh no, he's pressed up against my nose...I can't breathe, I'm going to die! Wait! What was that? Was that his tongue? Ewwwwww!!! That is absolutely disgusting! Is he even allowed to do that? I am NOT sticking my tongue in his mouth! He can forget that right now."

I am pleased to say that fortunatley, like a fine wine...kissing has greatly improved with age.