Stupid Assumptions
So the surgery went well. Mom's in a lot of pain but she has her friend, the morphine drip, for company. They've become very close.
Everything was going fine, she was eating her sugar free jello and drinking her chicken broth while we watched Law and Order. Then my Grandfather and his wife arrived. I love my Grandpa and think he bares a strong resemblence to Robert Redford...he's very handsome and we're very close. His wife on the other hand...well...she's a pain in the ass.
When my mom started to dose off, Venie looked over at me and asked the one inevitable question, "So are you datin' any fellas?" I forced a smile, "No, not at the moment, the pickens are slim around here."
Then it happened. She smiled ever so sweetly and said, "Well as long as you don't wind up telling us you swing the other way...."
I threw my hands in the air. It's like what is it with you people?! I said, "You do realize that just because I'm 28 and single does NOT mean I'm gay. It means I'm not stupid enough to land myself in a bad relationship like everyone else in my family." I WAS PISSED. Then she started going on about Chasity Bono and I was so flabbergasted that I completely stopped listening.
This isn't the first time this question has been posed to me simply because I'm single and have been for about a year. Do I need to tattoo it on my forehead? Shit. I'd probably find a better relationship if I WAS a lesbian.
posted by Lindsey @ 6/06/2006 08:58:00 PM
24 Comments:
There should be a term for those of us who don't settle...it's definitely not "gay" it's SMART.
If you were Lesbian youwould fo sure be in a committed relationship :)
I agree with notcarrie, the word is smart! You handled it well though, I think I would have slammed one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs down on her head and then eaten about 30 cups of sugar free jello!
So glad all went well with Mom!!!
Wishes for a speedy recovery.
So weird about the lesbian thing, happens to me too. The question is fine of course, the implication that they've decided this must be why, dam'ed annoying.
Absolutely is it smarts, don't you dare settle, you're too good for that! :-)
First of all, I am so glad to hear that your mom is doing well. How terrifying for both of you. (Hey, drop me an email anytime you need to vent.)
Second, I invited one of my best girlfriends to my cousin's wedding in a few weeks so that in the likely event anyone DOES give me shit about being almost 30 and single, I can introduce them to my (fake) "girlfriend".
But then, I am just a little bit twisted.
Of course, so is my friend cuz she was TOTALLY on board with the idea. hehe.
Keep us posted and hang in there, kiddo.
I'm happy to hear your mother is doing well. May she continue to do so.
My aunt, my uncle's third wife, is like your grandfather's wife (not your grandmother, I understand?). She is full cockney, screeches like a fishwife, can't stand that anyone could possibly be better than or outdo one her or one of hers.. we don't know how my uncle can stand her, frankly.
And I also, being older and single, and dating very little, have been asked if I'm gay. Actually, no one asks, they just assume it, and are surprised to find I am not. Or they think I'm lying.
I dont like idiots, so I have little to do with people who make and believe assumptions like that, so they, and their opinions, become worthless to me.
**His wife on the other hand...well...she's a pain in the ass.
LOL!
Well dun bother abt Venie's dumb question...alot of dumb dudettes ask that sorta question...Im glad u answered pretty smartly Linny.
Keshi.
OH MY GOD!!! I CANT EVEN BELIEVE THAT.
I am sorry that you have to deal with such idiocy...
Good to hear about your mom, Linny :)
And that last line in your post have gone through my mind more than once throughout the years.. :p
I have a couple of friends trying to hook me up with relatives in the Philippines -- kind of like mail-order bride-ish but not fully ...
You think it's tough at YOUR age? Try being a 37-year-old bachelor who hasn't been in a relationship for years ... *sigh*
AYAYAYAY. You gotta love her.
LMAO! Pissed? Why were you pissed? That had to be hysterical! I would have done a complete spit take all over Grandma.
Phil, I was pissed that because she assumes that because I'm still single at my age, then it's not just because I haven't found the right person, it's because there is some ulterior reasoning behind it. I was highly offended..and she's not my grandmother.
That is too funny. I had the same experience with my sister...my own sister. Granted i haven't had a boyfriend in about 8 or 9 years, i have dated but certainly have not brought the men around my family. When i told my friend Sly about this she got all up in arms and ranted about how if you're a single woman it now must mean you are a lesbian. She was angry.
Glad your mom is recovering nicely.
As for step-granny, ask her if she wears depends next time you see her. She'll wonder why and you'll simply say becuase your old and smell so I thought . . .
You may go to hell for it. I won't be held responsible.
What an old bat!!! You should tell your grandpa to put a mussel on his dog, i mean wife....lol...
Seriously, people should just mind their own business sometimes...you are smart for stayin single, VERY SMART....
you should have said, well, we cant all settle for less, huh grandpa...that will shut her the hell up...
take care and dont let old bats rain on your parade ;)
glad to hear things with your mom went well ;)
I'm so happy that the surgery went well!!! I was thinking about you all day yesterday.
But so sorry to hear about step-grandma. What a bitch! LOL
Your step-grandma sounds like a real gem!!!
How's your mom feeling today, Linny? I have been hoping that she's doing well (and you also). :)
Invite me to one family gte together. They'll hope you are a lesbian. :)
Just bring a girl to a family event and kiss her once or twice in public and I bet they will never ask again.
I'm with Phil. Well, not in that way since he made it clear he didn't want me winking at him anymore.
I thought her response was hysterical. I think rather than being pissed I would have had to control myself from laughing out loud. Hell, I would have probably wound her up a bit first saying I wasn't so sure which way I might go.
I'm keeping your mom in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.
Are they insane or is it custom that southeners marry their cousins when they are... 13? Jerry Lee Lewis style... I'll be 32 this fall, and a looong way from even being engaged. Or having a partner for that matter.
Wise of you not to marry the first guy you meet. Very wise if you ask me.
OMG I am 29 (1-23-77) so am essentially the same age as you...My goodness if anyone asked me if I was gay I think I would drive off a bridge. You're right too I might have a better chance of not being alone living in the right part of Chicago here and everything...It is hard enough to find your self suddenly alone and facing 30 without people starting to speculate on your preferences - outloud - to your face!
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