There Is A Lesson You Must Learn...
I don't like the taste of coffee in any way, shape or form. Therefore, I have never had any reason to visit those nifty little coffee shops like Starbucks. The only problem with this is that I've begun to feel a little left out. While I don't care for coffee, part of me still desires the feeling of being that 'trendy' woman that glides around with her big sunglasses and her Starbucks coffee cup.
So, I decided that today was the day that I was going to be trendy...swollen cheeks and all. Since I don't like coffee, I figured that I would try my hand at green tea since everyone is boasting about that so often.
As I anxiously awaited my turn in line, I listened to the people ahead of me ordering like pros. "Tall, short, low fat, decaf, latte, no foam, double shot"....and I realized that I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to order mine. Do I order it plain? Do people put sugar in it? Is there a special phrase for that? My heart began to beat faster as I neared the front of the line...what do I say? WHAT DO I SAY???
"Can I take your order?"
"Green tea. Short." I bit my lower lip and scanned the people around me, wondering if it was glaringly obvious that I had no idea what I was doing.
Either no one noticed or no one cared. Either way was fine with me...I just grabbed my tea and ran.
Outside I held my paper cup up like a trophy. It was my way of saying, "Look at me world...I can be trendy too."
With that, I took a sip of my glorious tea...and nearly gagged.
It tasted like crap.
Within minutes I had gone from feeling like a superstar...to feeling like a complete ass.
posted by Lindsey @ 2/05/2006 05:30:00 PM
39 Comments:
Girl you just need to know what to order. it doesn't all taste like shit. definately needed sugar with the tea though. :)
Linny, wonderful story. Ever think of submitting some of your postings for publication? They really are that good sweetie. :-)
Great story! For some reason, your story reminded me of Sex and The City. Something Carrie would do. You are too funny! Coffee makes me crazy, so I stick to Green Tea.
I know exactly what you mean, I dont' drink coffee at all and I get looked down upon that i drink soda in the morning for my "boost" instead of running to the coffee machine!
Many of those trendy little coffee shops can make boiled water taste like crap.
Great Post!!I dont like regular coffee but I love french Vanilla Cappaccino. Its tasty, you should try it at an exxon mobile gas station.
they allow you to sample the different flavors in a small sample cup. You should try it.
never had green tea, but like you i can't stand the taste of coffee either, so when i'm "forced" into starbucks i plump for a hot chocolate...the safe option...as long as you don't mind shed loads of squirty cream and cinnamon on the top
glad you're feeling better hamster features and all :P
I will admit that Starbucks is part of my regular morning routine. I'm also a tea drinker... but I can't stand green tea. It's horrible. I don't blame you for gagging one bit. T
The people who drink green tea and brag about it never actually mention the taste. They always talk about how good it is for you. That should be your first clue. When was the last time that something green, that people said you should eat/drink because "it's good for you", tasted good? Hello... that should bring up some childhood memories chica.
Try Earl Gray (or is it Earl Grey?) which is my favorite tea. Black teas taste much better.
Awww Trée, thank you. I was just talking to a friend the other day about how I'd like to get more involved with submitted things for publication but I haven't the faintest idea what to do or where to start... :0( I need to do some research.
You are better off just bringing tea in to work and making it there. Starbucks teas pretty much all blow.
lol, that was absolutely wonderful! :-D
The US must have the equivalent of 'the Writer's guide', check that out first, it will tell you everything you need to know.
perhaps you could indulge in one of their tasty frappucinos...they come in a ready-packaged Starbucks glass bottle already so there's no "ordering" involved...that way, you'll have a reason to go inside and be trendy as well!
Thats funny...You crack me up...
I only go hang out at Starbucks when others want to go there.
Like when I worked at DG and had to be there at 6am. NOthing but girls worked there so we would all meet up at 5:30am and get some coffee.
I always got short,french V. or hot chocolate..
I cant drink it all the time.
But I love the smell of it!!mmm
I don't really like green tea either. Don't be afraid to try their hot chocolate or cider if you like those things. You could even add a flavor, like peppermint to the cocoa.
Linny, look for writing workshops at your local community college. Frequently, there will be information about submissions or contests posted around. Also, those classes can be a wonderful way to really polish your skills and get feedback.
Get a grande coffee light frappachino. You'll like it.
I heard that Starbucks green tea isn't the greatest. I always get a triple venti white chocolate moca...mmmm...white chocolate moca...*drool*
I prefer tea to coffee, but it is an acquired taste. The flavored ones are easier to get along with. Check your local upscale supermarket for "Republic of Tea" brand, be sure to buy the bagged tea
next time you are in Starbucks, try a chai tea with skim....spicy, sweet, and low fat
Linny, I think hot liquids are a no no after oral surgery.
I hate coffee too, and I feel really ripped off paying 5$ for crappy tea in a paper cup. But I also sometimes feel left out.
I don't think sugar and green tea go together, it's just an acquired taste.
Chuckles and Autumn, thanks for the advice...will most definetly look into it.
Jennifer...they said hot liquids were ok. Remember...you're allowed to eat soup on the first day. :0) Doesn't matter...I didn't end up drinking it anyway...it was gross.
I love Green Tea but i agree with Jennifer, no sugar. I remember once Jennifer and I were out at starbucks which she hates, and i had her taste a sip of my pumpkin spice latte. I never thought it really tasted like coffee and she hates coffee. Needless to say she disliked it.
Try again....Seriously. I dont drink coffee either, but they have steamed milk with flavoring, any kind you want.
I recommend the gingerbread steamer *steamed milk with gingerbread syrup*
SO GOOD
Linny, I wholly get that feeling. There are just too many choices to being trendy.
I LOVE coffee. I hate ordering at Starbucks. I've ordered the exact same drink since the first time.(because it took me 30 minutes to memorize it the first time)
Green tea smells nicer than it tastes anyway.
I do hope your poofy cheeks get back to normal soon.
Forget trendy. Just be wonderful you. You aren't missing anything...they are.
Green tea, like many things, can be an acquired taste. I try to make myself like stuff by telling myself it's good for me. Green tea prevents prostrate cancer for men, so it must do good stuff for women like that too!
Funny post, Linny me girl! Lovely story. Very well written. :)
And we both know I love coffee, but I don't order it in any form or fashion. Just...coffee. Black. Fix it up at the table myself.
But I understand. When I used to smoke, I was so afraid (at first) to buy a pack. There's so much that you have to specify. Lights, regulars. Long, shorts. Filters. Box. Soft pack...
I'd go with Marlboro Light 100's (long) in a box.
But it took me a while to not feel like an idiot while doing so. Poor kid...
Anyways, enough vices. Let's get down to the big stuff...
Publication: I think you should avoid the writing classes, but that's just me. Nothing they can tell you that you can't figure out yourself. Just keep on practicing, that's what I'm doing.
But I mean, if the class is free...well, there's no harm in checking one out. I just wouldn't pay for it, you know?
And I've been thinking a little about these things too...reading the end of "On Writing" when King goes off on the "finding an agent" tangent...and it just really, really scares me!
Seriously, I have writer's block tonight because all I can think about is: you'll never find an agent or a publisher, but you don't need either cause all you've written is a blog, and even it's not that good!!
(Sigh)
Man...I hate writer's block. And sorry for the long comment. Apparently the block's not THAT bad, huh? ;)
Hope your doing better than me!
Happy Tuesday,
~ Ash
ummmm . . . starbucks
God how I hate those pretencious places...
I'm just like Denis Leary on this vien:
"Can I please have a cup of COFFEE flavored coffee?"
Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's it.
And I refuse to pay $5 for what I can get at 7-11 for .79 cents and is better.
I would recommend an Earl Gray ... hot ... sweetened, with milk ... it's one of my standards at the coffee shop, especially after lunch ... just as much caffeine, non-coffee taste ... nice!
i'm with nick, earl grey is the way to go! with a touch of milk... mmm, *smack smack* delish! also, if you want to do coffee but hate the taste (uh, yeah, me too) try making it with a pack of hot chocolate mix :-) like, make hot chocolate, but use coffee instead of water. not bad at all, i tell ya... :-)
LOL! Try Chai. Glad your feeling better!
LOL! I feel the same way when I go to Starbucks! I get all nervous and wait for people to laugh. I only go like two or three times a year.
How are the cheeks?
I love coffee! In my 20s I had an alcohol system with caffeine injection… and occasionally I allowed a little blood to flow in there too. I found the fuel mix (while fun) made my engine run rough and ragged in the mornings. Towards the end of my twenties and I had to switch around the fuel lines. Now I have an alcohol-injected caffeine system, running 30-60-10 blend of beer/caffeine/blood.
I always look for the dark roast (Starbucks calls it bold) and occasionally have mochas. I drink tea because three 16-oz mugs of coffee upsets my stomach—I try but I don’t enjoy it. As maja says, it is an acquired taste. I can’t find a blend that tastes both strong enough and good enough for a hard-core coffee drinker like myself, and I have tried the various green, black, and the regular old orange pekoe. It’s very unusual, considering my parents are English and drink three litres of tea a day. My friend Spider enjoys Starbucks’ Chai Lattes, some kind of steamed milk, spice and tea (as I understand it. Never had one, so I’m not sure).
As for Starbuck lingo: Short= small, Tall = medium, Grande = large... things get small or bigger from there. There are other chains that use normal language for their coffee. I think the lingo is some kind of brand loyalty thingy, where saying it fools you into thinking you’re getting something special.
But don’t worry about following a trend. Coffee is a lifestyle!
As for the giant dark sunglasses... forget them. They’re ugly.
Sigh.
Hot Teas are a funny thing at Starbucks. We sell them by the bag. Because of this small (or tall, see the rhyme its not too hard) suggests one tea bag, anything bigger suggests 2. If you want more than 2 (just tell them how many you want.. even if you want just one). I want one tea bag in whatever size. Now about tea choice. Zen is the popular green tea flavor, mostly because it is green tea with hints of mint herbal tea. There is a new green tea rolling out with flavors of ginger and pear together. The most popular black tea is Awake, this is like an English breakfast tea. The most popular herbal tea is passion (some say this tastes like fruit.. maybe... not really) its made of hibiscus flowers. If you are adventurous you should try the calm & refresh blend (chamomile and mint together).
If you want to hear more about non-coffee dairy based beverages you know where to go.
your personal starbucks barista
Next time you go in.. you don't need to tell them you are new... just let them know you are trying something new (often they will say say something like 'if you don't like it, tell us, and we will help you find something you will').
I love Starbucks - it is treat when I get to hang out with my Sweetie and have a mocha once in a while. I always order the same thing. It is funny that they serve tea too - after all , it IS a coffee place. I truly enjoy green tea, but only the genmai-cha variety which has roasted popped rice among the dried green leaves of tea. One of our Japanese exchange students turned me on to it years ago and it tastes nothing like the schlock they try to pass off as green tea in most places. Pretty funny write up Linny - you really should publish.
Linny, you aren't missing much. Green tea is just gross, and the coffee from Starbucks (or anywhere else) is just plain burnt!
*hides in the corner* I'm a coffee snob!
that is priceless... please go publish before some idiot steals it - and take credit... not me of course..
try mint tea.. it never dissapoints!
I love coffee!.. i always start my day with a really foamy cappucino with sugar.. i hav tea with milk and sugar also but nothing can beat a really nice coffee with choco brownie fr breakfast
Don't feel bad, you live and learn right? Just think if you would of never done it...you would of always wondered what if....hahahah..
FUNNY! :)
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