Secret Enemies

By definition, a secret enemy is someone that you don't know well, you most likely don't even know their name but by god you can't stand them and you would like to see them humiliated in the most public place imaginable.

I have two secret enemies. The first is a girl at my gym. I see her everyday and everyday I hate her more. She walks in, in her short skirts, tight shirts with her long legs and blond hair and every guy stops and stares as she makes her way to the locker room. We've never spoken but she walks around with her nose in the air and wears work out clothes that are so tight that I'd swear she bought them in the children's section

She spends more time flirting than she does working out. She smiles coyly and bats her eye lashes at every guy that passes by in hopes that one will drift her way. They always do. She'll wink at them, then oh so casually rest a hand on their arm, then she'll throw her head back as she laughs at something they've said. I hate her most.

My second enemy is the little man at the corner gas station. Every morning before work I stop in and buy a soda and every morning he looks at me like he wishes I were dead. He has NEVER spoken to me. I try to smile and say good morning but he refuses to express more than a frown. He rings up my drink, silently gives me my change and then pretends I don't exist. We play this game everyday. At first I thought maybe it was because he wasn't a morning person so I made a visit in the afternoon. Same response. Now I wish him many, many papercuts.