Secret Pooper
I've always thought there was kind of an unspoken rule among most people that you just don't do number 2 at work... at a friend's home ...or in public places unless it is absolutely necessary. Call me a pooping prude if you will but I feel more comfortable in my own bathroom. I mean, come on, to do otherwise is just a recipe for disaster. You've got to take into account: odor...noise...and worst of all....clogging. Does everyone remember that unfortunate scene in Dumb and Dumber?
Sadly, I have a coworker who does not share this particular belief, as a matter of fact, she blows it out of the water (pardon the pun). We call her...The Secret Pooper...namely because her identity eluded us for so long. This woman has a PROBLEM. Every single day...Secret Pooper does number 2 and the smell wafts out from under the door and drifts down the hall...to the point where we have to go and spray lysol around the office.
The last straw came on Friday. It appears that our Pooper had an "upset stomach" and failed to clean up after herself, forcing me to address the staff in a memo on the issue of 'proper hygiene in the work place.'
posted by Lindsey @ 8/29/2005 07:09:00 PM
30 Comments:
LMFAO
thats funny. and i fell the same way keep that shit at home. unless your body wont let you!!!
lol, funny yet so true - your own bathroom is your safest bet to avoid possible embarrassment!
HA HA
I thought it was just me that felt this way. I never do Number two unless im at home, even if im at a friends whom ive know for ages i wont.
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
We have a not-so-secret pooper at my job. This lady will sit in one stall, talk to the person in the stall next to her, and poop in a loud and stinky manner. WHY?!? And she lives 2 miles from work. She could wait for lunch, right?
OMG! That is too funny! I'm with you keep the shit at home! I've gone into bathrooms before and the women are in the stalls grunting away! At least try and keep it quiet!
Linny, in our office we had a non-secret pooper, namely our local UPS driver. He would stop by our office everyday at the same time, and go and leave a present, like clockwork, everyday. And it stunk to high heaven. We put signs on the door, air freshener in the bathroom--nothing worked.
I was about to call his supervisor--the smell was that much of a disruption, when we were blessed with a new guy.
New guy only picks up. :-)
Fuuny! I agree... Some packages should be left at home!
That's so funny...we call ours the phantom pooper! We all know who it is but we never actually see her go in or out...
I'd love to see what that memo says. ;)
strangely, i seemed to be the only one among my frens who doesnt do number 2 in public places. they think i have a weird habit when i told them, but i dun, i just like it this way. my own bathroom. show us the memo? LOL
I am blessed with metronomic regularity,so the issue doesn't arise at work. It's a bit problematic when I am away from home for longer than a workday, though. I become something of a ninja-pooper; silent and stealthy.
HI-LAR-IOUS!!! I used to feel the same as you and your commentors, until I developed my family curse. 10 minutes after eating there's a rumble down under, and I used to run home all the time, but now I don't let Mr. Corn Loaf ruin my plans, I just go to the potty. That's what they're for. Besides a Dr told me holding it too long causes other more serious problems - more than just odorous discomfort for co-workers. Lucky for me, the office I work at has superb bathroom design (they're away from the work area).
I have been drinking a dieters tea which I like to call poop tea, and I can't hold it once it comes on me, so I make my way to the fourth floor bathroom where there is never anyone. I'm not proud.
hahhhaah when will we grow up and stop seeing the humour in poop-humour?! when will it stop being funny? when?!?!?!?!?
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If I, on the rare occasion, have to do a number two at work, I wait until the last possible minute, then I make sure there is no body else in the bathroom. To make the actual "stall-time" shorter, I use the urinal first, then go into the stall.
There is nothing worse than walking into the bathroom and there is some guy sitting on the toilet grunting and moaning... I will leave and find a different bathroom.
ick...I feel sorry for whomever found the mess she left behind.
I prefer to do #2 at home. However, as I have discussed at length in the bloggy blog, I am one busy beatch... and I am mostly not at home. This means, unfortunately, that there is pooping in other places.
I am, however, well trained on pooping etiquette and hygene stuff.
-N
-N
You are hilarious! I'm coming back here again and again! Thanks for leaving me a message on my blog BTW. http://objectofmyinjection.blogpsot.com. Your words were very kind and the reason I keep blogging!
-Michelle
Haha, great blog here.
I work in an all male team, and there isn't any no poop rule. If it gets too smelly, we leave the light (and there for the fan) on until it's safe again.. maybe it's a girl thing to be screamish about?
There are roughly 250 people who work where I work, and let's just say, we have quite a few 'secret poopers'. I refuse to even used the bathrooms at work anymore.
Oh. That is just WRONG.
nasty!
Eeeeew! I have no problems going anywhere. Why walk around uncomfortable? But to leave a mess behind is definitely bad pooping etiquette.
Gross! I can NEVER poop in public. I have to be doubled over in pain to go in a place other than my home!
LOL!! Hilarious...
Thankfully, our bathrooms are far far away from our work area. But really? Everyone pretty much goes #2, flushes appropriately (as in b4 the smell starts), uses the right amount of Lysol and NEVER leaves a mess. Not that I have seen anyway!
Oh and living in a dorm where EVERYONE shares a bathroom totally broke me of the "private pooping only" If it hadn't I wouldn't have gone for 2 years!
Wrote a comment yesterday -and its not here! Hmm, weird! Still, it was exceedingly funny, trust me, lol. Anyway, wrote something along the lines of feeling for you with regards this secret pooper and that usually for most people leaving number twos anywhere other than at home (or somewhere equally comfortable) is just too damn intimate. I also mentioned, once when I was with a new boyfriend and was desperate, it became a choice of two "evils" - his house or the local library. I popped out on the pretext of going to the shop, lol.
always shit at home... god knows how many asses have touched that seat.. and in the mens washroom how many ppl have pissed all over it..
now the only time u poop at work is when its life or death.. like..ur intestines will explode and. when you go you need to HEAVILY cover the seat with tissues! i dont want anyone elses ass germs on me. oh myyy
what i hate about having to do a secret poo at work is... the crack in the door.. its like.. they never make the measurements of stall doors right. there is always a gap so if anyone walks by they look right in and make eye contact and ask how ur day is going.. ok.. hasn't happend yet but i hate being all stealthy and having to hide my face as people walk by (i dont want ppl to know i'm pooping!)
- FU
Too funny! It's too much work too when doing No2 away from home..."paper,paper,paper,paper"...I'll be damned if my naked ass touches that gnarley seat!
That's sooo funny, thanks for sharing!
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