Tips for job interviews
Now that I've once again begun digging through the piles of resumes and going through the interviewing process, I've come to realize why the unemployment rate is so high. It's because most of these people are flippin' idiots. I got so annoyed that I decided to come up with some general rules for interviewees.
1. If you've sent out your resume and listed your cell as a contact number, do not answer your phone, "What, Yo, or Go ahead." (automatic frowny face on your resume.)
2. When I call you at home, do not yell in my ear, "MOM, I GOT IT. HANG UP THE PHONE!!! I-SAID-I-GOT-IT!!!"
3. When I tell you that I'm calling regarding the resume that you submitted, do not simply say, "Yeah or Uh huh" like you couldn't care less.
4. While in the front office, do not wear your headphones and bob to the music while you are waiting for me to call you back for the interview.
5. Do not stare at my breasts while I'm talking to you.
6. If you are oozing from your ears, nose, mouth or any other orafice...RESCHEDULE!!!!
7. Remember that Kool-Aid colored hair is not appropriate in a professional setting.
8. I do not want to know about your recent divorce from your "lazy ass ex-husband" or about the "little tramp" he's sleeping with.
9. Do not tell me about the fire at the nursing home you worked at when you ran and left the elderly patients to fend for themselves because as you see it, they've lived their life and you're still young.
10. When I tell you I'll get back in touch with you on Friday, do not call me 3 times a day, every day leading up to Friday.
11. Do not idley chew on your tongue ring while I'm asking you questions.
12. Please don't hug me at the end of the interview.
13. Do not arrive an hour late for the interview and then proceed to argue that I gave you the wrong arrival time.
posted by Lindsey @ 8/18/2005 06:10:00 PM
13 Comments:
I, myself, have recently had to interview candidates for a new position in one of my areas. What an ordeal! One of the applicants was the best friend of one of the women who already work for me. 'Was' being the key.....the applicant had cheated with my employees husband, broke up her marriage and my employee's marriage, became engaged with the ex-husband of my employee, and is now carrying his child. My first thoughts when I seen the application - Is she on crack??
shut up shut up shut up , THUNDERCATS on DVD , i'm shaking with THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOO!
Sounds so far-fetched that job hunters could be so silly - kind of explains why they are still on the market though. Fun post!
Great advice! I wish you were hiring in the town where I am moving. I could use the job and I don't do any of the offending behaviors! :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
are these people really hugging you? damn, now that's why i won't take any manager positions.. well i'm sure there are other reasons i've never been offered such a position, but still, LOL
wow...the thing that made me snicker was the part where they hugged you...what would motivate someone to hug an interviewer?!
I'm tellin ya...if I could get inside the heads of some people sometimes...
You should write a book about your experiences in interviewing. It would be funny :)
my boyfriend just started a job recruiting, and he says all the same things. i can't believe i'm not making piles more money than i am, since i'm apparently one of the 2% of the population who shows up on time and in a suit for interviews...!
LOL!! I used to be a recruiter and I will always remember the girl who told me that she left her last position because her boss was an "f***ing b*tch that fired her" so she poured sugar in her gas tank. Oh nooooooo!
14. Don't ask at the interview "Is there any chance I can get paid in cash? I don't want my ex-wife to get her hands on any of it. I don't mind providing for the kids but that bitch isn't getting a penny!!"
(This actually happened...)
Skuds, that is funny. I interview people 365 for a living and thought I had heard it all. I'm posting that one on the board tomorrow. LMAO>
Love this list... trying to remember who I know in HR to send it to. Fantastic blog.
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