The Day I Became a Hoodlum
It never occurred to me that after 32 years without a criminal record, that I could completely blow my good girl streak without a second thought.
I blame monster trucks.
Or should I blame the kid that wants a monster truck birthday party?
Maybe I should blame all the damn stores that don't think monster trucks are a theme worthy of shelf space in their store.
Whichever way you cut it, I was feeling salty. I walked out of Party City and strode to my car muttering a string of words unsuitable for little ears. Out of ideas and more than a little grumpy, I threw my purse in the passenger seat with a little more force than necessary and sagged against the steering wheel. WHAT am I going to do now? He has his heart set on monster trucks...forget that Sissy wants pirates. Pirates aren't cool enough. Even though you get to wear eye patches and have buried treasure and ride in big, huge pirate ships and...OH SHIT. I glanced over to where my purse rested.
That...is...not...my...seatcover.
Feeling dread creep through me at a quickening pace, I glanced in the back and then quickly away before I could fully take in the image of the floral car seat behind me.
OH MY GOD...I'M IN THE WRONG CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I was out the door and three cars down before the exclamation finished reverberating throughout my body.
I cannot believe it. I just can't believe it. Oh god I hope nobody saw me...I wasn't trying to steal the car Officer, I swear. It looked exactly like mine and my beep beep key worked on it and everything. I'm just here for monster trucks...please don't haul me in!
Fighting down the panic, I bent low and shot off down the aisle until I found my for real car a few spaces down. Not wanting to wait around, I shoved my key in the ignition...slid down low...and hit the gas.
Let the record show my friends...that this is the day I became a hoodlum.
posted by Lindsey @ 10/13/2009 07:10:00 PM
12 Comments:
My goodness. If this is the worst you can do I am ,well, really disappointed!... get out there and start being a badass girl!
Well I once got in the back of a trooper's car thinking it was a cab. He was reaching for his gun and I was pissing my pants.
Ha ha! Not nearly as bad though as a lady I work with... she climbed into the passenger seat of (what she thought was) her husbands truck and then proceeded to get mad at him for just sitting there before she realized a) it wasn't her husband in the driver's seat and 2) they had brought the car that day.
A hoodlum would have driven away in the car the didn't belong to her.
Lindsey, I've been reading your blog for over 4 years and this does not at all seem out of character for you.
hey there! you're back! glad to hear you're keeping things interesting ;-)
PP drove me to a strip mall and waited in the car for me. I finished shopping opened her door to see some man behind the wheel WTF? She had moved her car and this guy with the exact same car pulled up where she had been, i didn't even look and started to get in his car. It was tres embarassing.
You are so funny! I read this a while back but didn't have time to leave my comment.
I rushed out of work as usual, and jumped into my silver Honda, closing the door. Fumbling to get my key in the lock, I um... took longer than usual. Glancing over across the seat, I spotted... not my own clear passenger seat but one filled with papers and books... confusion setting in I continued trying to jam the unfitting key into the lock. Suddenly everything "clicked" that it was really DIFFERENT... NOT MY CAR! I jumped right out in a panic - knowing I was in full view of all the office in the complex... auuuughhh!!!! To this day I haven't figured out if the owner of that similar car as mine left his unlocked, or did I just have the same combo on my electronic key? Enough embarassment for the day, eh? xo
Scary to think that our remote keys work on different cars!! Wow!
You felonious perpetrator!
I thought that was you I saw on the post office wall!
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