How We Really Feel About Our Ex's

I'd be lying if I didn't say that the most entertaining part of this weekend was getting to meet my friend Ally's infamous ex and the new little girlfriend he's been flaunting around.

We ran into them in a restaurant and to my credit, when Ally introduced us, I resisted the urge to nod knowingly and say, "Oooooh. So you're the asshole I've been hearing so much about." Instead, I kept my expression even and extended my hand in greeting.

Then in true girl fashion, as soon as the niceties were over and we had slipped out of sight, we crouched over the table and burst into giggles. Ally's eyes were huge. "Oh my god. Can you believe that? Now tell me honestly, what did you think of her?"

"Well obviously he's never going to be able to do better than you. That's a given. But I guess she's okay...she does come off as a little young and naive though."

Ally nodded, "But she's got big boobs."

"Yeah...he's getting big boobs and she's getting a little dick. Doesn't seem like a fair trade to me. I give it a month...tops."

Ally burst out laughing. "In his defense, it's not really little. I mean I guess I would say he's average."

"Nuh uh. It doesn't matter." I waved my fork in the air for emphasis. "Little or average...he still doesn't know what to do with it...so that is an automatic deduction of points. The only thing he has going for him is that this girl is too inexperienced to KNOW to be disappointed."

And you boys thought that all we talk about are clothes and make-up....