Another Nail in the Coffin
When you get the news that you're going to be an Aunt again, most people are giddy with joy at the prospect of a new baby.
To my credit, when my brother's fiancee' popped the news, I WAS giddy. I love Colby and can't wai
t to add another to the brood. But shortly after the ticker tape parade ended in my head, things went hazy and it felt like someone had sucked the air out of the room.
You have to understand that there are consequences and repercussions to be had in a situation like this...all to be inflicted upon an innocent bystander.
Me.
As soon as the rest of the family finds out...all I'm going to hear is, "Linny, when are you going to have one of these...you're the oldest, you should have been the first to have babies!" Or "Linny, pretty soon your eggs are going to be shriveled up and useless. Tick tock, tick tock."
Then there's my favorite..."So WHY is it you don't have a boyfriend?" Then they whisper to the person next to them, "Oh dear, maybe she likes girls....that would explain it."
posted by Lindsey @ 7/30/2006 05:57:00 PM
30 Comments:
It sucks sometimes that we don't get to pick out family. All you can do is smile and nod.
HA HA HA HA HA HA. I'm laughing with you, not at you.
Little brother - two babies.
I understand. I understand.
CC good come backs.
Whenever i see my younger cousins at weddings etc, they tell me they are thankful that i'm supposedly next in line for all that shit all of the older cousins are married. Keeps the bullseye off of them. Then i laugh and tell them they have many more years to wait.
Yeah, I hear ya. In the order of cousins getting engaged/married it skipped right over me. I'm sure people are like, "why isn't she getting married yet!?"
I know exactly whatcha mean. I have a client who keeps his fingers crossed for *(not that I asked him mind you) and repeatedly tells me how his fingers are getting cramped and arthritic!~M
*lovely isn't it?*
lol. I LOVED this post!!! I so feel ya on this one!! I have 18 first cousins on just my dad's side. I am the oldest one not married. I am the only one besides my 12 and 4 year old counsins not in a relationship. Wedding, after wedding, I am alone and bombarded with "What happened to Tony? Oh. I'm sorry. We loved Tony." YES GODAMMIT SO DID I! BUT I GUESS HE HAD OTHER IDEAS DIDN'T HE! Some people DON'T get married and have babies, you know, Aunt Janet... I guess just not in OUR family. *sigh* So I am single. For two years now. And I keep running into jerks... that don't want a "serious" relationship, (which, by the way, is guy talk for "i want to sleep with other people." ) *sigh again* So, my answer in September, at my cousin Jon's wedding is "Well, I DO have a boyfriend, but I knew if I brought him you'd ask me when I was getting married and having babies and I just don't think I could remain this civil if you asked me that. So I thought it best I leave him at home. Oh, look, they finally opened the wet bar. Nice to see you Auntie Janet."
So funny, Cressida and CC :)
And Linny, you stand strong sister! Just remember your Texan counterpart, enduring the same comments...
Kevin's friend (who had a baby at the age of 19 mind you) recently informed him that she believes he is now 'shooting dust.' Thanks, bitch - now my husband believes this to be fact and is leaning toward parenting a child SOON. An actual child. Keep on leaning, Kevbo - your wifey is NOT READY YET!
LOL that is the best picture EVER for this post!
Haha, maybe she likes girls!
Linny I have been your supporter for many days....but the comment "maybe she likes girls" does spring up a lot of questions.
JK =P
Cressida and CC: LOL. Once I stop laughing...I will DEFINETLY have to use one of your lines. After all, I'm going to have to face the family at my brother's wedding in September and then again for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ugh. I'm going to have to come up with a lot of excuses.
Just tell them you are adopting 37 Chinese and Russian kids and starting an orphanarium.
LOL! I had to suffer that for a while, then, everyone did find out I liked girls and, well, phew, thankfully for me, my four brothers started quick families, skipping the part about marriage and going straight for, "Hey, Mum, you're gonna be a grandmother....soon!"
Seventeen nieces and nephews later, I think I'm off the hook. Maybe when there is enough distraction, you will too! lol!
I think you should scare the shit out of them all and tell them you are indeed a lesbian. Just come on out tha closet....that would be
PRICELESS.....hahahaha
Yah, I am going to get that this weekend....extended family, cousin's wedding, and I am NOT looking forward to all the questions. Hopefully I will be too drunk to remember the horror of it all.
found your blog thru flip...
i too have the family presssure adding up.... my family actually sat down, and compaired me to previous generations and INFORMED me that i have 4 years left to become a parent - seriously, can't i find a decent date first...
btw, recently finshed reading "everyone worth knowing" - good read
preachin to the choir sister!
Just ignore them and don't let it show that it bothers you. Then go home and cry in your pillow. Or you can call me. :) Trust me, I'm going to a family reunion this weekend with people I haven't seen in 4 fours since the last one. I just can't WAIT to hear what they have to say to me now.
Haha I like "Clueless's" comment.
I'm lucky that my family doesn't really bug me about being single, but sometimes silence is harder...then you don't actually KNOW what they are thinking.
I'm hoping my brother and his wife will have kids soon to tie my parents over for awhile.
Hi Linny, been awhile.
First of all, kudos to you for being so honest with yourself. I know plenty of us that would have just kept saying, "What? Oh nothing's wrong....I'm really, really, really happy for them!!!!" (insert shit-eating grin)
It'll happen. And until then, you'll just have to work your way through the crowd of guys trying to get their paws on your boobs- that post was too funny and unfortunately hit too close to home...
LOL!!! @ "I cant wait to find out who the father is"
Ohh CC...you are TOO much.
Linny - tell them to fuck off and mind their own business. MY grammy asked me repeatedly if I had a boyfriend, I always said no, but I once said "What if I had a girlfriend???" *I dont, and am not gay, but shame on her for being so traditional, it's 2006 for fucks sake*
I assured them that I did not have a girlfriend either, but they got the hint and havent asked since
Linny chill...even I feel a bit uncomfy when I hear my younger cousins/friends getting married or when they have their first babies. Not cos Im jealous but cos of the very reasons u said: ppl asking me when is it gonna be my turn! It sure makes me giddy as hell!
**"Linny, when are you going to have one of these...you're the oldest, you should have been the first to have babies!"
lol just tell em this:
When are you gonna shut up?
Keshi.
Maybe you should just start to point the obvious out to people who hound you about having kids or a boyfriend or a husband. Be like, "Why haven't you had your teeth whitened yet?" or "Why do you snort when you laugh?" Call out their alleged "shortcomings" any time they give you shit about your life. That's what I would do. Don't get mad, get revenge. (Am I evil? I am in no way talking badly about your family- I don't mean it that way.)
hahah!
I cldnt help but laugh at the post!!
Its sooo funny how peoples mind works in such a stereotype fashion...
as for having babies...just have fun till u can...live for urself till the time u can..babies mean u live only for them !
Some people are so silly. Ignore them, Linny! :)
heh. I have posted about this same issue. I'll see if I can find it.
In fact, this pic of me, is at... drum roll... one of my cousin's weddings!!
It was only a few weeks after I got dumped by my long term boyfriend. That was about my 4th glass of wine.. and it was still light outside! lol.
Hey Linny girl!!
I can relate completely..before marriage practically every one I met used to have the same question..."when are u getting married"...but the best way to handle them is ignore them!!..
And I have mastered the art of faking a smile at these people and ignoring them completely!
Definitely use CC's second line. That'll make their jaws drop!
Fortunately fo rme, the next wedding I'm going to is a friend''s, so no one of my family to bug me. Yes, guys get it too.
You have no idea how embarassing it is for your parents to ask you directly if you are gay. No, I'm just socially inept.
Linny, tell what the hell you like, just make sure it leaves 'em dizzy.
Tell them single is the new pink, and you're trying it out for awhile. No time for emotional attachments...you just don't want to waste your time. Besides, you have standards...and all the other colors just clash.
The absolute worst fear when one of my sisters say, "I'm pregnant again," is the thought of babysitting...!!!!
But if you decide to go the "not so STRAIGHT route"....call me. ;) It's much better on this side of the fence! hehe...jk
Why aren't they asking why she is prego and they are not married yet? Maybe you should point this out for them :)
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