Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Gone Fishin'

Let me be clear. When it comes to men, I seem to attract losers. For quite some time it was my belief that perhaps I was this amazing phenomenon that needed to be studied by the scientific community. Seriously. If you take the biggest weirdo/loser/jackass in the world, blindfold him and drop into a sea of 1000 women...he will bypass all of them and find me. It's like I have some sort of microchip implanted in me that allows this type of man to locate me...no matter where...no matter when. Such is my curse.

I have yet to meet a nice, normal guy. They all seem to be:
A.) cocky assholes
B.) too clingy
C.) insanely jealous OR
D.) fucking weird as hell

It's like I told Princess Pessimism about her recent experience....most men are either Looney up front...or they're "Looney Incognito." Meaning...they seem normal at first...but then when they're starting to finally reel you in...the crazy comes out.

Everyone always says, "There are plenty of fish in the sea." Well you know what? I must be on the wrong fucking coast.

42 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

Linny, your complaints fall on deaf ears, because men think all the same things about women. We shouldn't generalize. There are "normal" men and "normal" women. Like I've said before, I think you must live in a hotbed of losers. Get out of Georgia!

1/03/2006 8:15 PM  
Blogger Crazy Me said...

LOL!! Great way of putting it. I hope you find a not so bad one soon!! Come to Texas. I'll hook you up!

1/03/2006 8:19 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

No coast here.. must be the lakes!

1/03/2006 8:56 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL Linny it was a funny read!

**Let me be clear. When it comes to men, I seem to attract losers

Low Five! Goshhh Im the same..I fall for major jerks and losers...I asked my mum if this is in our genes...she said NO. Duhh!


Anyways, I think we have one thing in common..falling for losers...and na I aint a loser-gal, cos I know Im not! Where r all the men I dream of?

I must be in the wrong coast too...actually, Im nowhere close to a sea!

Keshi.

1/03/2006 9:00 PM  
Blogger Thomas J Wolfenden said...

The women I seem to be meeting just tell me they want one thing but really mean something else.

1/03/2006 9:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Linny -
Definatley part of the lonney upfront crowd -
My wife still doesn't understand why I would watch a movie that I know all the words to.
It's because you know the words you wanna see the movie!

1/03/2006 10:05 PM  
Blogger Princess Pessimism said...

Linny - Well...if it's any consolation, I think you're my kindred spirit.....we're like the same person....except not. LOL!

It's like i read my own life when I read your blog....except for the underwear in the tree thing....but I definitely would have taken pictures too. =)

1/03/2006 10:29 PM  
Blogger Mad Munkey said...

Not the wrong coast, just too far south...

1/03/2006 10:32 PM  
Blogger Miss Ash said...

I agree Linny...perhaps if we are really patient a good one will come along. A lot of my friends are getting married and having babies and i'm like eeeeek, that's so not me at all. I'm still living la vida loca with a bunch of weirdos that i meet LOL

1/03/2006 10:46 PM  
Blogger Autumn Storm said...

Funny, but unfortunately true in very many cases.
:-) Still, at least, life isn't boring, that'd be worse.

1/03/2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger Joe Tornatore said...

it probably sounds half-bait but, if I owned a fishing pole, I would lend it to you.

1/03/2006 11:53 PM  
Blogger Princess Pessimism said...

Ragazza - I'm with you.....go read my blog...an entry you might find amusing. LOL!

1/04/2006 12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL Linny it was a funny read!

**Let me be clear. When it comes to men, I seem to attract losers

Low Five! Goshhh Im the same..I fall for major jerks and losers...I asked my mum if this is in our genes...she said NO. Duhh!


Anyways, I think we have one thing in common..falling for losers...and na I aint a loser-gal, cos I know Im not! Where r all the men I dream of?

I must be in the wrong coast too...actually, Im nowhere close to a sea!

Keshi.


LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
WHAT A JOKE!

KESHI IS AN UGLY HOE

KESHI I SUGGEST U TO LOOK INTO THE MIRROR ASAP

AND STOP HAVING UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION

NO FUCKING SANE PERSON CAN BE HER BOYFRIEND

1/04/2006 4:26 AM  
Blogger Chuckles said...

Everyone is weird.

1/04/2006 4:52 AM  
Blogger A. B. Chairiet said...

All men are stupid and evil and should be hated and/or shot.

I agree.

But as for you being mad at me:

Please don't be, Linny my girl. I'm so sorry, really.

~ Ash

1/04/2006 5:50 AM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

I'm so glad I'm not alone. Should be form a support group? LOL.

Princess...that's so funny b/c I think the same thing when I read your blog. It's very weird.

Cappy...I'm not sure who you are and while I can respect your thoughts and opinions, I have to ask that you please not use my blog to insult any of my readers the way you did Keshi. It's disrespectful.

1/04/2006 6:34 AM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Oh and Ashley, I'm not mad. We just have to work on getting you to like Sex and the City. If we're not getting any ourselves then we should at least live vicariously through others.

1/04/2006 6:40 AM  
Blogger Courtney O. said...

I don't think there's a such thing as "normal" - lord knows my husband has his hands full :) He just realized that a little too late!!! LOL

1/04/2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Tom said...

I think we are all screwed up to a certain degree. Somehow we find a way into each others hearts. Where are you finding these men? Church is a safer place to meet men than bars. You sound like a sweet gal and surely a good catch. Be good to yourself and stay busy. Pray about it and ask God for guidance. You may end up being a nun somewhere but if its God's plan, you will be satisfied. Now I will try and practice what I preach!

1/04/2006 9:17 AM  
Blogger Drywall Mom said...

Before I met Justin, it seemed like I had a bright neon sign attatched to me say "losers, I'm available". I wasn't even looking to date then. To me it seems like there are waves of good men and waves of bad men. To me it seamed like sometimes when one good guy would come out, about five more would show up after I started dating the first one then the rest of the time the other ones would show up out of nowhere without asking. I'm glad that time in my life has passed.

1/04/2006 9:29 AM  
Blogger JM said...

Hilarious! Nice description of the dating pool.

1/04/2006 10:04 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

lol, linny i feel the same way. chris is a little loony but not like all the others i have been with! take Josh for ex..he was a fucking nut!

i have a guy that you could meet. but you wont do it.

i forget how old he is.
he is very nice guy.
he has a JOB...he is a popo
he has a 5 year old named hunter that he sees every other weekend. i watch him sometimes.
let me know i will hook you up girl! lol
O and don't say no just cause he has a child. even knowing he is a pain in the ass.

1/04/2006 10:14 AM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Katie..I know exactly who you are talking about and you know I have ZERO interest in him. Jesus. He's ugly, overweight and not at all my type.

1/04/2006 11:26 AM  
Blogger Valerie said...

nope, it's not the coast. I'm on the other coast and it's the same here. Maybe we're on the wrong two Oceans.

1/04/2006 12:28 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

then who whats his name?
he is not over wait at all!
come tell me his name!

1/04/2006 1:17 PM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Colby's God Father.

1/04/2006 1:23 PM  
Blogger PAINKEY said...

Wrong fucking coast huh. that was so funny...I guess if I were you I would do this....

when i meet a new guy and i like him, turn to his friend and date him instead, bc im gonna listen to reason instead of heart bc it has failed me. love will come later when you realize you made the right choice.

1/04/2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Boring...Actually as most people will probably attest, it is generally a physical attraction that initally grabs a person. IE: if an individual is very overweight...no...most likely I'm NOT going to be attracted to him right away.

However, there are times like w/ my last boyfriend. We were friends first. He wasn't very cute, he was overweight...but I we dated for many years.

So don't judge me. I'm no different from any other man or woman.

1/04/2006 3:26 PM  
Blogger Px said...

thanks to N
my comments live again :D

1/04/2006 3:36 PM  
Blogger Beth Danae said...

ha ha ha ha, love your last comment about being on the wrong coast. I think it is all about where you look for them.

1/04/2006 4:03 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Sometimes I feel the exact some way. I think a lot of people do. Maybe it's not that they are freaks, just not right for us...or maybe some of them really are freaks.

1/04/2006 4:44 PM  
Blogger Innocent Bystander said...

It's because you are looking for fish... dependent, no memories, only interested in food and their own being, no memories, they keeep going round and round but never going anywhere, spending time in their own pooh, no memories and also quite scaly. Eurgh!

As my Mum said... all men are bastards and dicks... you just have to find one who isn't very good at being a man.

Sage advice... maybe.

Lin; from photos and your blog; you're beautiful and intelligent and funny and just lovely... but you are asking the wrong question; it's not why you keep finding weirdos, it's why the great men haven't found you yet... and why's that? Because they are trying to get away from the weirdo's that they attract and trying to find the great women.

Keep the faith, young grasshopper

1/04/2006 5:54 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This is why I love sushi.

1/04/2006 7:57 PM  
Blogger Justine said...

its a minefield out there, linny!
very alienating.
but I'm sure when you meet someone who treats you right and who you love, a lot of that wierdness you see in men will evaporate.

1/04/2006 8:23 PM  
Blogger Professor Fate said...

It is my opinion that all women are insane.

Here are my most recent relationships endings rationales:
* I was too clingy - I sent her an ecard for St. Patricks Day.
* I was too smart.
* I was too cute.
* I was too funny.
* I was too sexy.
* I was too nice to my ex-wife.
* I wasn't really interested. I didn't try to get her into the car and have my way with her after our first date movie.

The devil on my left shoulder insists that I quote everyones favorite misogynist: "You need to sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."

Best of luck, baby duck. I know there is someone out there waiting for you as much as you are waiting for him.

1/04/2006 9:10 PM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

Sorry to hear about that. Hang in there!

1/04/2006 9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You may not be different from any other man or a woman.Every person born has the desire to look fair/have that perfect good looking face like a celebrity(may be)/to be tall,etc.Its the sad that the wish for such people is burnt after accepting the fact that nothing can be changed about their looks. Complaining about being overweight is okay.Its the individual made. Looks attract...only to get in bed(lust) and for social image probably.

geee..today's generation dont love ,they fuck!

1/05/2006 1:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ever empathize with a handicapped/a limp.dont u think even he has a desire to be beautiful like us and the very thought of getting laid.He is human too like us.Its sad unfortunately.I always thought one should spare a thought abt their emotions before complaining..

ps:no offense to u.like I said everyone wants to 'perceive' and like only the beautiful.Ugly is looked down upon..sigh

1/05/2006 1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and so is ugly defined..

1/05/2006 1:26 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I came in late, but I think there is a little crazy and weird in all of us. The key is finding someone that you will love even when they are weird or crazy. I think I am as normal as a guy can be. My problem is that I am easily walked on and that is not good. I'm working on it. ~ JOE

1/06/2006 2:41 AM  
Blogger EssentialStephen said...

What about E.) gay?
That seems to be the other option my single straight girl friends complain about too.
I'm not helping though, am I?
Oops

1/06/2006 5:35 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

i was a bit concerned
i tot u meant saby



happy new year Linny
we met u remember me?

i was the guy dat saw a lott when the wind blew your skirt to your face


u werent wearing anyting underneath

1/06/2006 7:04 PM  

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