The Rhythm is Gonna Get You
Cathy had a date friday.
Hallelujah! FINALLY...one of us has gotten asked out.
AND he was a nice guy to boot.
*Wait for it...wait for it....*
BUT he 'middle school' kissed her! At the end of the date he leaned in and gave her a short peck...then pulled away (silently count 2 seconds), short peck...pulled away (wait 2 seconds), gave another short peck...pulled away, etc.
etc. It was the equivalent of bumping your lips together every few seconds, like in middle school when no one knew what the hell they were doing so they just closed their eyes and hoped for the best.Cathy is of the belief that this is fixable because it's just a little rhythm problem.
I, however am worried that if he doesn't have the rhythm to perform the simple task of kissing, then this could be a prelude to a much bigger, future problem where having rhythm is essential.
So I'm wondering...are bad kissers generally bad in bed or can they surprise you?
posted by Lindsey @ 10/11/2006 07:12:00 PM
31 Comments:
I agree with you but maybe just maybe... he liked her and was nervous! ~M
Boys get butterflies too!
Well, in the opposite light, I've known great kissers in my life who have been totally lackluster in bed, so maybe they aren't correlated. Sometimes in the beginning, the jitters get the best of us.....that's what margaritas are for :)
Lol, seems like he was one nice nervous guy :)
Bad kissers can be great in the sack. But it doesn't erase the problem that he's a bad kisser. I spent 2 years trying to avoid kissing a man that I loved to have sex with. Terrible dilemma. Terrible!
I feel bad that guys get stuck making the first move most of the time. I'd rather have a middle school pecking session, though, rather than one of those overly slobbery, too much tongue kind of kisses-EW!
This is a tough one for me because if someone is a bad kisser it's like a deal breaker for me. Granted this bloke was probably nervous or whatever but if they actually have a real grown up kiss and it's just as awful then.....
run from the bad kissers it's a sign of how they maneuver
I have never been pleasently surprised by a bad kisser.
Run! Run like the wind Cathy.
you know, rhythm comes with practice. Kissing can be taught. Good sex can be learned. People need time to mesh and be comfortable and learn the others rhythm. Have you not noticed this? The first month of sex isn't great, but they you get your groove and it's just... good. Rythmic. Same thing with kissing.
I don't think you can judge anything from a first kiss. Everyone is too nervous. Wouldn't you rather the guy was too nervous than too forward?
Uhh - at least he wasn't a sloppy kisser. We all know the implications there...
So GROSS!
I think there's hope for the bump kisser though. Tell her to keep us updated on the progress :)
Maybe he was nervous. I think that a shy guy can be actually good because he will be open to learn. You can teach him how you like it and he will follow your lead. But then maybe you think you want him to lead, which he will eventually once he feels more comfortable with his love-making skills.
If he doesnt seem like he will go any farther than pecks on the lips then its a lost cause. He will be clumsy in bed, a pre-mature ejaculator, a single orgasm per night kinda guy, a momma's boy, a guy who is a second distant to your cell phone on vibrate...etc etc...
oh but I just had a beer so my judgement is impaired ;)
I'm with Courtney--at least he wasn't a sloppy kisser!
Speaking of kisses, I haven't been kissed in months. *sigh*
lol
I meant a distant second not a second distant ;)0
i've always find girls that are good kissers are um.. good at the "stuff"
girls that don't know how to kiss... yeah.. they are clueless.
hey linny.. are u a good kisser?
i am. ;)
Maybe he just has bad breath... you know like he ate onions or garlic or something... maybe it's his first kiss... in a way that's sad but you can't skip the first everyone goes through it... some later in life... I didn't have my first true kiss until I was 17 which is a long stretch from the peck I gave when I was 11.
Agree, it could just have been nerves. Let's wait and see what happens at the second performance. Keep us updated. :-)
Generally, I'd say the two are linked.
Maria: This is true.
Jen: You know...come to think of it, you're right. I've had the same thing. I've just never slept w/ a bad kisser.
Saffron: Yeah, just a bit.
Wandering Girl: Ugh. I can't imagine not being able to kiss my boyfriend. It's such an intimate part of the relationship. But it's not always fun being the teacher either.
NotCarrie: I know. I've thought that too. But hell, 'I' don't want to have to do it all the time. :o)
Miss Ash: I know. Bad kissing is a deal breaker for me too. Yuck!
Sass: This is what I'm saying.
Professor: I've told her to proceed w/ caution. We'll see what happens.
Cressida: We're going to hope you're right. Who knows if this will even go somewhere but if it does...she's got her work cut out for it I think.
Phil: Nervous is endearing. Forward is annoying. But we just have to hope that all it was, was nerves.
Courtney: Sloppy kissers! GROSS. He wasn't that from what I understand so at least that's a good sign.
Yrautca: You should drink a beer more often right before you post. LOL. You're dead on and funny as hell. :o)
Pheeps: I know, I was kissed while overseas but already I feel the well is drying up. :o(
FU: Damn straight I'm a good kisser! :o)
Andy: I think we'll go with the nervous theory. Lord, I'd hate to think he would try to kiss her with bad breath. That just isn't good manners! lol
Autumn: Thanks. Maybe he'll turn out to be pretty decent. Only time will tell.
Bad kisser = bad in bed. Period.
I think he needs another kissing chance- nerves. Can't judge on the first kiss- however, if he continues to be a bad kisser- run away!! Bad kissing is a sure sign of bad in bed. Have you ever heard that men who can't dance are bad in bed?? I have heard that also, but that one I don't agree with. My hubs isn't a good dancer, but he can certainly make my toes tingle off the dance floor :)
Definately can't judge a guy by his kissing style...
Either he's a really good kisser and good in bed...
Or a really good kisser and sucks in bed...
Or a really bad kisser and wonderful in bed...
Ya... definately not related.
first kisses can be awkward but they don't always mean that they will always be bad.
if it continues ..... a possible bad omen.
Good kissers, on the other hand, are wortth their weight in gold (or m&m's)and rarely disappoint
If he got the "bump lips, wait two seconds, bump lips" rythm down...I think he'll be all right. Perhaps he was showing respect for your friend? Ya know, I like you and want to kiss you, but I don't want you to think that's all I want.
Wanderinggirl- I've had the same experience. I'm not eager to repeat that kind relationship. I think it was nerves. I'm giving him another shot tomorrow night. If its a repeat performance of the peck fest, I'm going to have to let him go. The one redeeming quality was it wasn't the wreched 'slobbering, tongue touching tonsils' kiss. I'm to old for that shit. I'll let you guys know what happens. Professor fate makes a good point though. :)
Cathy
i have had a bad kiss turn out to be a romantic night...hahah
See, it says that you have 0 comments, but here I am, number 27. Sigh...I cant win here....
Ive recently told you about someone that I was involved with, and although the sex was amazing *YA, I said it!!*, his kissing?? Was horriffic.
He kissed like what I imagine a tin man kisses like. There was no passion, there was no emotion, and there was no fixing it...no matter how hard i tried. Cause trust me, I tried....but he was convinced he knew how to kiss.
My argument? You can know how to kiss, but that doesnt mean that you KNOOOOW how to kiss.
Maybe he's been out of the dating game and has forgetten what to do.
I was sleeping with a guy for 2 years. Never ONCE kissed him. All I can say was I'm sure he was a better kisser than a...you know.
Kissing is overrated anyway. How about dinner and a movie? My treat!
Noramlly - If you have to teach them to do one thing you WILL have to teach them to do others. However, maybe he was just nervous as others have said. He deserves another shot. :-)
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