Cause For Panic
I'm concerned people.
Seriously concerned.
All this talk about men having problems making it around the proverbial bases, has got me thinking. If you haven't done IT in a really long time...do you forget how? I mean I know they say it's like riding a bike but come on...if you plopped me on a bike right now, I can't guarantee that I wouldn't wabble a bit or completely tip over on the first go round.
I wonder if there is a cut off time for your memory...like after one year of no sex, you forget all the naughty knowledge you spent the last 10 years compiling.
Shit...so how many months has it been for me...wait, let me count.
*Counts all 10 fingers....counts all 10 toes...dammit...have to start on fingers again!!*
NOW DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM???!!!!!!!!
posted by Lindsey @ 10/18/2006 06:20:00 PM
30 Comments:
I hear ya sister I am calling myself a born again virgin! No sex in 14 months. Well, no sex with anyone other than myself. Surprisingly though some of the best sex I ever had was with myself if ya know what I mean!
you wont' forget.
Well, since parts is parts... I think you will have no worries should such a circumstance present itself... LOL
I don't think you forget how to do the deed, but getting there maybe. Thats my case right now, I'm just a blabbering idiot and that makes the dry spell last even longer. sigh
Practice, Practice, Practice! That way you'll remember the way. Cheers, 'VJ'
Quoting my beloved Sex and the City, "If you're not careful, it's gonna grow over!"
...Not to scare you though.
I do think it's like riding a bike, but it looks like I'm getting into that territory myself, so I'll keep you posted when I reach that threshold...
I agree with secondhand smoke completely.
sometimes if u "wobble a bit or completely tip over on the first go round" it's a good thing
;)
a little wobble and tipping is always good.
I know the feeling. But I don't think you'll forget. That's what I tell myself, at least. :)
The best sex is an impulse and spur of the moment and happens by itself. Th ebest kiss also just happens. When you plan it, it never feels so great. So I guess that you just find yourself holding hands and then you just feel her breath on your neck and then your lips lock, and next thing you lay her down on your bed and kiss for a few minutes, and then you rip off her shirt (and promise to buy her a new one), and then you just get rid of your clothes and......things happen ya know. One thing leads to another. Sex comes naturally when you have that connection.
er um I swear I wasn't wondering the same thing myself...yikes...
I am pretty sure liquid courage won't help you ride a bike, but maybe....a cowboy?
sorry, I am in full psycho panic too!
well, it's not exactly like riding a bike ... unleess you're on top ;)
"We men wabble but we never fall down." lol
It'll be fine. You'll be fine. Nothing effects performance like a lack of confidence in your ability to perform.
You do what elicits a "good" response form him. You do what feels good. I wouldn't try pulling off some circus trick like a back flip off the dresser onto his awaiting penis with out a little practice.
My there are some explicit responses. Are you wondering if you'll remember in anticipation of anything...? Hmmmm....
Well Phil...I was kind of hoping to get lucky at your Blog party. :o)
There might be as many nerves as that very first time, but it all comes back. Trust me. :-D
Oh Linny. This is not good. Not good at all! But there is a bright side. You won't have to change the title of your blog. :-D
I'm just teasing ya. Come about four hours WNW and we can fix your problem. :-D
Just last year I started riding a bike and I think it is exactly like having sex after a long period of time. You are wobbly (probably a good idea to drink a little but before) and your ass and thighs will hurt for a little while afterwards. (depending on what kind of kinky stuff your into the same coud be true).
Been there. Getting back on the bike wasn't NEARLY as awful as getting into the biking outfit, ifyouknowwhatImean.
*Leans over to turn off the light*
Hey...sorry I have been totally AWOL lately. Lots going on and lots to tell, but I am here and reading. Hi!
...."ITS" like a loaf of bread. If you dont use it...it gets mouldy...
You know, if its been a year, you are officially a virgin again.
And you might be all fumbly and wobbly, but you might be a virgin again. Fumbles and wobbles are to be expected. :o)
Well, Lindsey, the last time I counted, it had been eight years since I'd been on a date, and I'm pretty sure a year or even two has passed since then.
So, saying I was awkward about kissing a girl, (let alone ything else), should I ever go on a date again, would not only be polite, but quite generous.
Add in all the other pressures, the stories of date rape, 'ask before you touch', not wanting to look like a creep but not being able to because everything and every male is made out to be a creep these days, yeah, you could say there are some issues in the way of a natural raletions.
A one-word solution to your problem - vodka
Ha. Maybe forgetting won't be such a bad thing as it will inspire you onto new, sexy tricks w/the next lucky paramour?
Besides, I agree w/several other comments: a bit of wobble here and there can be charming. And fun!
There's like, six billion people on planet Earth! I really am confident Mother Nature has built in a conditioned response! And it beats the hell out of riding a bike(unless it's a really bumpy, long road!).
yah...it's been a couple of ummm ....well it's been a really long time for me too. I just can't do it with someone unless I am in a relationship and dammit if that is not the bane of my existance right now! lol
what happens if you haven't been on a bike?
But really, I think you'll be ok.
you know, all i'm sayin' is this: some of us are married and still not getting any. WHAT THE HELL?!? But i do hear it's like ridin' a bike. At some point, I hope to let you know :)
That was like this weekend... I hadn't skated in 15 years... and I didn't fall when I went skating with my son... you won't forget...
plus, there's a way of keeping up to date... it just involves batteries :)
OMG I feel the same exact way!! I keep gettign told by the girls that liquor helps you remember...
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