Just A Bridge That I've Got To Burn
I made the mistake of reading through my old journals tonight. I was sick to my stomach as I relived the past 6 years through the ink on the page. I am ashamed of myself for justifying and forgiving your sarcasm, your attitude and your behavior. There were good times, but they will never be enough to excuse the rest...I settled when I should have walked out the door without a backwards glance. I let you come back time and time again...only to have you leave me hurt each time. All I wanted was for you to love me...but it took you 3 years just to even say the words. I was a fool... but today is a new day....'and there's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight. Just a bridge that I've got to burn.'
Thank you Kelly Clarkson for saying what has been in my heart....
What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what's isn't there
Your eyes they sparkled
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care
You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for in this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I've gotta burn
You are wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone
Sometimes shattered
Never open, nothing matters
When you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending, always over
Back and forth, up and down, like a roller coaster
I am breaking that habit today
There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it babe
Take the hit and walk away
Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone
posted by Lindsey @ 12/10/2005 06:53:00 PM
22 Comments:
"today is a new day"!
Much, much, much easier said than done, I know, but..
forgive yourself past behaviour and decisions with the help of knowing, it was all said and done within the realms of 'love' and that you, who you are today, would have reacted differently...
Eyes forward,
onwards and upwards to better things!
Wishing you happiness, xxx
Good gracious I was angry last night. Completely sober...just sincerely pissed off and ashamed. When I re-read stuff like that, it's like reliving it except that it seems like it's happening to some young naive girl and I'm watching it from the outside trying to yell and warn her..but she's not listening. *sigh* To think of how many years I wasted on him...even when we weren't together...I'm very sad. Oh well. All I can do is try not to think of that...and chalk it up to experience and knowledge for the future. Right?
Oy yeah! Kelly Clarkson is the voice of a generation. Her wisdom transcends time. Ok, sarcasm aside, I'm happy that you can finally put the pain behind you. A broken heart sucks.
Phil...bite me.
Linny! I'm sorry hun, but you can't change the past. As long as you have learned from it everything will be fine. At least you have realized it and now you can move on and find that wonderful gorgeous guy that's waiting for you!
**hugs**
Reading the raw pain had to take you right back to the intense pain of the heartbreak. You've got the right attitude, though... A learning experience.. every mistake.
Journals... They can be good and they can be bad. Reminding you how much you've grown, or reminding you of past mistakes.
If they get you too down, I'd say trash them.
Broken hearts do suck.
if song lyrics help them shout them, Like the loss of anything you have loved you never forget it so don't try. Just go on knowing that you can always love more, it doesn't get used up in fact it multiplies when you need it most.
Linny, You can't beat yourself up over past mistakes. You thought you were doing the right thing at the time.
He obviously never deserved you. You are so much better than he could ever hope for, and he'll never date some one worth so much as you again.
What's important now is, it is behind you, and you are wiser, smarter, and stronger for the experience.
Where you go from here is as important as how you got here, Linny.
linnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy
dont be sad.. be glad.. the guy was not rad. he was not fit to be a dad, and in fact, he would make u very mad. so think positivly as it was only good luck that you had.
love
fu-AD.
;)
It is crazy how love and our desires get us all mixed up. I mean, we ARE intelligent, free willed adults. Yet we act like drunken children, wandering around with our eyes closed, our hands sticky and our hearts bleeding.
To be honest, I think I am closer to the target of your post. And it is a shitty realization.
Rock on!
Bite you? Why I'd love to, but where?
Ok, I have to crack on you briefly for using Kelly Clarkson. Honestly?
Ok, I'm done with that. The bigger part of it is that we've ALL had relationships where we've made allowances after allowances because we were in love or in need or whatever we told ourselves that it was and we've all let those relationships go on for far too long at the risk of our own dignity and self-esteem.
But you know what? In this equation, YOU are the one we care about and we're behind the decisions you make. No matter what. Just because. And just like watching a movie, we're pulling for the girl who made those decisions because they are a part of your life now.
I look at my life this way. Its like a weaving. There are dark colors and light colors and joy and heartbreak, but the entire pattern would change if I went back and changed any of it. Same thing with yours. And there's a lot of yarn left.
Linny baby,
** To think of how many years I wasted on him...even when we weren't together...
I did that for years too...looking back I think how naive I was...but these r experiences that have made us what we r today...the strong girls that u and I have both become...I know exactly how u feel tho!
yup songs give my heart a voice too...
Hugggggz!
Keshi.
Sometimes, there's no where else to look but back
You gotta love Kelly C.
She speaks for all of us :)
Sounds like you're better off now, although it can be so hard to get to a point where you realize that...
ah linny, burn that bridge doll, let that baby burn. listen to kelly, she knows what she says(sings)....
I'm proud of you Linny. I've been there, beeeelieve me! But it feels so good when you throw away stinky trash and begin to smell the roses again.
I believe you will find your prince. I just found mine and he makes me feel like a queen.
I'm not that big on Kelly Clarkson myself, so I shall sing you my OWN song!!
"Linny...Oh Linny
(yes, Ash?)
Why are you so sad?
You should just be glad
Now lets go eat some cake
and the we'll have a date
with!
Harry Potter...AND. FRIENDS!!!"
I don't know either...I guess you'd just have to hear it to truly appreciate it.
And sometimes you just have to look back at your former self to truly appreciate where you are and who you've become.
(See? I tricked you!)
~Ash
WOW! That was inspiring and intense.
Yes, we have to forgive our past behaviours. We, afterall, did not have the benefit of hindsight at the time.
"Believe me Adia - we are all innocent.
We all falter.
It doesn't matter.
We are still, innocent."
Don't go reading my original posts. I don't want to look at them.
Maybe when I'm 80.
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