Broken
I can feel the labored beating of my broken little heart.
I've taped and I've glued but the pieces are only just hanging on.
To be honest, I'm scared to fall asleep.
Scared that if I close my eyes, the pieces will tumble to the ground and scatter. Then my heart will never be whole again.
posted by Lindsey @ 5/01/2007 09:41:00 PM
17 Comments:
Linny, it happens. To the best of us, it does. Mostly to the best among us, it does. Perhaps you gave up your heart too soon. Perhaps, you believed more than you felt. It hurts now but it wont forever. Get up, wash your hands clean and start afresh. Thats the only way out.
I wish as you do, as everyone does, that you didn't have to be feeling this way. There are happier times ahead, promise, just wrap your arms around yourself, lean on the people close to you (wish I were there myself), keep you head down for a little while and you will get through this. Karma works, it's just life that doesn't always work out as we had hoped, that said, it generally works out for the best.
Bear hugs, x
Strange that, I was talking to a friend last night. She's trying to avoid celebrating her 50th B-day. She's got a weak heart, thin walls, and they can't do anything about it. One day it's very likely to kill her quick, but they don't know when. And she's the healthy on in her family. Her husband's on full disability. She's also recovering from a previous spinal injury. So things could be worse (as always). At least you've got your health, and not too many people to worry about & be responsible for. That's a dark & twisted way of 'counting your blessings', but as much as it hurts (and it surely does), most of the time it does not need the docs to be called in to patch you up. And that's worth something, right? Cheers & wishing you Brighter moments, 'VJ'
I am sorry that you are in such a low place right now. Don't let yourself stay in that place for very long, the longer you stay in that state, the easier it is to want to give up. And, with all that you have been given and the family and friends that you have, you need to look at the bright side of things and look at all the happy moments in your life and remember that you are a very fortunate person. You have running water, a roof over your head, a job, food in your belly, a wonderful talent for writing, a family that loves you, people that care for you and cheering you on and so much more. This is a low point, but don't get down, it could be much, much worse. Take the lemons that you have been given and make lemonade out it. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
So, get out of bed, open the blinds in your home, let the light in, get in your care and take a trip, go to the beach, the day spa, or any happy place that brings back alot of happy memories and write the sadness out of you. Since you have that wonderful talent, use it to take away the pain. Write it all out on paper. I promise, you'll feel much better.
Here is a start... Write about what you would do if you could go back in time and talk to your younger self. What would you tell her, what advice would you give her. Things like that.
I promise you, honest to god, if you get some sleep it will help you heal and that no more pieces will fall off while you are not looking...
Sleep girl sleep, it'll make you feel better ...
Linny, I wish I was wise enough to offer you advice, but I'm not. I am listening, deeply. And, I am here if you need me and I will offer all the strength and hope that I have. Thinking of you my friend. Virtual hugs on the way.
Be strong, Linny. Sending beary virtual hugs your way.
you are where I was last year, love, and I survived; so will you, I promise
24/7 CSI helped me, I have to admit :)
le coeur a ses raison que la raison ne connait puis
Lindsey - just hang in there. I miss your writing - maybe you could crank out something in your pain... isn't that what famous authors/artists do? Wait until the pain gets so bad they have to write about it... and then the finished artwork skyrockets through the roof to fame and fortune? I sent my heartfelt hugs to you.
Your heart will not tumble to the ground and scatter while you sleep. I promise. Time will heal it. Just keep breathing in and out.
I don't know if this means anything, but in order to have a heart, it has to be broken first, you know so that you know what it feels like to be loved.
I'm babbling--and I know what I wanted to say in my head, it just didn't come out right.
I'm sorry, Linny. Know that I'm thinking about you, and I hope your days get brighter soon...
I think about you a lot Lindsey and I don't even know you. I check your blog every day to see how you're doing and if things are getting better and worry about you when I see they're not. But I also see how many of us there are out here that care about you and have gone through similar things and want to share our crap so you know you're not alone in this, that you will be ok too. I hope it's soon.
Thank you to all of you. My family.
These days are hard. Harder than the last heartache from years ago and that was a 4 year relationship. Go figure.
But I'm so very grateful to have all of you that care so much and who stick by me even when I'm a terrible blogger or don't get around to visiting as much as I should.
In these tough times there are only a few things that heal the hurt. Laser tag, putt-putt, and NKOTB.
Do it to it Lindsey!
Linny, thinking of you and wishing you a weekend--I was gonna say peace--but the only think that keeps coming to mind is beer. A toast. To friends. Keep moving forward. I've got your back. :-D
I truly understand how a broken heart can shatter you...I just wrote a blog called Missing pieces and it is about falling apart. I honeslty thought I could love him again...but he never changed, and now I have to face reality and look for another to love...but I think there is someone else out there for me...and you too girl.
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