Standing Still
A relationship is never easy.
Especially when it is one you are trying to nuture over countless miles while the one you love battles the demons of war and all that comes with it. Unfortunately with war...there are always casualties.
But the question is, do you fall to the ground and let the darkness take you? Or do you force yoursef to your feet, reaching...grasping...fighting to pull yourself to safety?
I've been wounded before.
I'm not afraid of pain.
What I am afraid of is giving up.
With relationships I've done the rollercoaster thing and the carousel thing and like my dear Carrie Bradshaw once said, "I just want someone to stand still with for a minute."
I know who I want to stand still with...it's just a matter of getting him across the mine fields.
posted by Lindsey @ 4/21/2007 04:33:00 PM
24 Comments:
Wishing you a lion's share of luck and that you will find every reason to be happy. That's just for good measure, you're you, you'll get to where you want to be.
Hope you have a great weekend, x
Ah Miss Bradshaw, how profound she is...I miss SATC.
You'll find Mr Right though. Have faith, he's out there. That's what I keep telling myself.
Linny, I have no doubt you are a fighter. You will find what you are looking for, only a matter of time.
And thanks for the kind words on the Kyra sketch. Always much appreciated. :-)
I saw an interview on a morning programme yesterday about singledom etc, the young female author went on to say 'There is no such thing as a Mr Right or a Mr Big'. Had to smile at the inclusion of an SATC character as someone everyone would know who was. Had to smile too at the fact that since personally, and I'm sure it's true for most of us, I would have happily settled for Aidan, I was glad not to have that illusion shattered. ;-)
Happy Sunday, x
relationships are hard enough without the added stress of an actual war - standing still does indeed sound like something to work for.
The majority of relationships take time to cultivate love unwavering and trust rooted in steady faith.
If you believe you have discovered someone worth fighting (waiting) for then by all means do so. Think of this time as building the emotional foundation. When he arrives home the smiles will be wider and the kisses will taste sweeter.
Keep writing him. I'm sure he appreciates it more than you could imagine.
Hi Lindsey,
I'm sorry to hear that you're sad. Hang in there and good luck.
I'm sorry for his development Lindsey. It's just a miserable situation with their rotations and the constant uncertainty about further deployments. And that's just the non shooting stuff. It's rough for anyone, and for most marriages. They know it, the DoD knows it, and so should everyone else. All you have is the truth as you know it. If you can convey that to him consistently & lovingly, perhaps you can find a way around some of the issues here, or at least try to deal with them better. But the bottom line is always the same. He's there risking his life daily. You're here, barely understanding what that means for his life on the emotional toll it takes on everyone involved, but still wanting him desperately. All you've got is communication. Sometimes this is not enough. Sometimes it's too much knowing that you're putting someone's life on hold for your own, and you still have no control over either. Like I said, it's always a real tough job. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'
As everyone has mentioned, I think relationships are hard enough when your partner is right there with you. Unfortunately you have to deal with not only the distance between you but the war and i'm also assuming that you've not actually met in real life yet. All of those factors make things much more difficult.
I think that it depends on how much you want to live, if someone wants to really live, they will fight to the death, if they just want to give up, I think that their body will just do what the person wants to do. That is unless it's just something that they have literally no control over.
When my grandfather was in the hostpital and everyone knew that he was going to die, he held on for my aunt because she was not ready to let him go. When she told him that she would be ok with him gone, he died that night. He was not going to go until he made sure that everyone was taken care of. To me that shows how much a person's soul can struggle to live.
I think you are a fighter. Just the way you write shows it. Don't let the small things get you down. You, and only you, are responsible for making yourself happy and you are a good one at that. So find what makes you happy and don't let others tell you otherwise what should or should not.
Patience is a virute (but not one of mine). Good luck getting him across the minefield.
*sigh* standing still. It seems you and are wanting the exact same thing right now... you are in a much harder position though and my positive thoughts are with you and him.... =)
I love Carrie for that very reason. Thank god I have SATC on DVD.
Yep I agree...some things are worth fighting for.
Some of the dynamics at work 'in theatre' behind the latest 'surge':
[http://www.tpmcafe.com/blog/deanie_mills/2007/apr/21/i_feel_the_old_slump_coming_on]
'I feel the old slump coming on' via TPM Cafe: [http://www.tpmcafe.com/]
Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'
Let's try that one again to see if it works: Cheers, 'VJ'
[http://www.tpmcafe.com/blog/deanie_mills/2007/apr/21/i_feel_the_old_slump_coming_on]
Long distance sucks ass.
You're right Linny. Pain is a part of life. If you fear getting hurt and try to avoid pain you cause more of it instead. Relationships are full of great joy and great pain. If you focus on the pain you'll never get back to the joy - and that's when people give up. The only way is to push forward until you get back to the joy.
I wouldn't give up if I was you. Although maybe you should stop watching SATC, which is basically emotional pornography for women.
Just keep plugging away and you'll get what you want eventually. You know what they say: "if you hang around a barbershop long enough, you're gonna get a haircut".
Lindsey - my fingers are always crossed for good luck where you are concerned. And it sounds like you hardly need any luck - your love is a strong positive component.
quoting a pampered Carrie Bradshaw doesn't do your gravity justice but I hear ya!
hope u are feelin better lindster,
i mentioned u in my blog :)
Thank you all for all of the positive thoughts. They are much needed these days and I am so thankful to have you all for my friends.
How're you doing? Mending at all?
Keeping you in my prayers. It will work out... all things do in the end!
Miss Carrie Bradshaw too!
M
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